Tag Archive | terminal cancer

If you really want to live…remember what you’d die for, and live for it! | Freedom | Death | Cancer | Reiki | & Love

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I love…days where my bathwater matches my swallow tattoo!

Designed by my sister and worn by all my family on T shirts & jewellery & ink by family & friends close to my dad. A united front…facing terminal cancer with him.

Despite the chemo & radiotherapy, the tumour grew so fast his symptoms progressed v quickly.

Dad had a bone cancer ten years ago; and though the brain tumour wasn’t related, dad had lived every day like it was a gift.

And I think this summer, he kind of taught us all to do the same. We all miss him…but if there’s a silver lining, facing the journey into terminal illness…it was challenging of course…painful…but we will all remember the good stuff.

In the words of Mike Skinner of The Streets “You left me behind to remind me of you” ❤

He slipped into a coma and died peacefully at home and we were there with him to care for him right to the end. I spent the summer dancing in his garden when he was getting weaker…so we had quite a laugh (including our obligatory 'swallow spotting'…something me and dad always did).

If you really want to live…remember what you'd die for, and live for it!

The swallow tatt is has been adopted by a lot of cancer patients – lifer patients like dad as well as survivors as a symbol of freedom…we all have our demons and being able to live without fear of them is when we truly know what freedom is.

I have a number of students that face similar situations…and they learn Reiki from me. "Healing" someone who is dying? Yes. It's entirely appropriate. Reiki provides healing on many levels and may help with symptoms and mood. Death is a natural process…but it's one we tend to detach from these days. Considering it something that happens anonymously in a clinical setting and something that doesn't involve us. But once it was something we would have experienced personally at a younger age and caring for someone you love right to the end is natural. You don't stop washing them or making them comfortable because you think "this one's a goner". No…you administrator care and support right to the end because you love them way beyond life! And sharing Reiki or healing with someone who is dying…even in those last days…it's a natural thing to do ❤

(Reiki information on www.mayastar.net/reikicourses.htm plus articles on energy healing in general)

❤ Anna Louise May (Maya) | Mystic, Muse & Artist

www.annalouisemay.net
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Birthdays | Death Days | Fun Days | Tattoo Days

14th September 2015 (Yay! It’s my birthday!) – Sorry for the radio silence!  I’ve taken a few days off -I’m very lucky my work allows flexibility – normal scheduling has been resumed and all administration stuff is up to date…so things are kind of back to normal…and it’s my birthday!  So I’ll be getting to bed early in moment, so that my mum and sister can take me to lunch tomorrow at a reasonable hour!…

I’m sad to say, my dad passed away earlier this month.  The chemo and radiotherapy did slow the tumour’s development to an extent but unfortunately, it was growing so quickly that after he finished the treatment, he was having symptoms that could have  either been from the chemo or from the tumour.  And by the time the scan result came back, we already knew what the situation was.  But it had continued to develop.  He did have a wonderful death (if such a thing is possible); we were all with him throughout.  And ultimately he got sleepier and sleepier, went into a coma and then died peacefully.  As he was making the transition we all had the opportunity to spend time with him – talking, praying, singing and telling him what we were doing and stuff. His consciousness came and went more and more towards the end but they were very precious times.  If it’s possible to conceive, he did have a beautiful death.  At home, with his family and ‘naturally’ with just a bit of morphine as he had a headache towards the end.  Though I think it was from dehydration (which is usually a natural part of someone ‘fading out’ – they naturally lose their appetite and thirst as the end is coming close so they can have some cramps and things from that;morphine takes care of it and ensures they’re comfortable – though possibly a bit high!).  We had discussed the options as a family and we all agreed ‘home hospice’ was something we would not only be able to cope with but would consider the best option and that we would want to be there taking care of dad to the end.

I have to say, even with a terminal cancer, you actually have no idea of when the person will die or exactly what the mechanism of death will be.  You know it will kill them but you don’t know how or when.  Which isn’t unlike life for the rest of us…we all know we will die but we don’t know when or how!  Somehow, it’s not something people talk about or consider much.  You have to deal with it if someone you are close to is dying – are you going to ‘man up’ and face their mortality and your own by taking the journey with them?  I think with the support of friends and family, and the person who is dying of course, the experience can be something truly sacred.  I’m so pleased things went the way they did. It happened more quickly than we had expected…but dad wasn’t incapacitated until perhaps a week or so before he died.  He was gradually getting weaker – but I’m glad there wasn’t a situation like if he’d had a massive seizure and had to be put into hospital and then into a hospice etc.

So it’s a sad…but in a way, we’re all kind of on a high and celebrating his life and also the journey we took with him through the diagnosis, treatment and finally his death. I love him so much.  I can’t wait to see him again!  I think the first thing my dad will say when I meet him again is, “you were singing ‘Substitute’ out of key” – I was singing along to his music and we both love The Who! 

My sister and I got matching tattoos – in the style that dad had wanted one (but hadn’t been allowed due to chemo!), so my sister had put the design on T shirts for everyone.  And a few days after he died, me and my sister went to have matching swallow tattoos.  Because, one swallow doesn’t make a summer, but there’s more than one of us!  And it’s been a wonderful year in all kinds of unexpected ways.

So…that’s kind of the main update. It’s been an intense time and there’s been a lot of laughter and a lot of tears.  And we’ve kind of adopted as a curiously relevant ‘anthem’ of the year, the song I was learning on the harp – “Tonight You Belong to Me” (Patience & Prudence) – I’ll put a YouTube link below.  Some of you may recognise it from American Horror Story!  

“I know you belong to somebody new

But tonight, you belong to me

Although, we’re apart

You’re a part of my heart

And tonight, you belong to me

Way down by the stream

How sweet it will seem

Once more just to dream in the moonlight

My honey, I know with the dawn

That you will be gone

But tonight you belong to me”

https://youtu.be/W4dqfrzJPbc