Tag Archive | self realisation

I was raped. Courage & Self Realisation. Are life’s challenges our most powerful opportunities?

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOpWsw1Hvl8

22 Years ago, I was raped by my long term partner.

I was young and this had seemed to come out of the blue. He became physically, mentally and emotionally abusive after this…he also had 4 affairs that I know of during the 9 years total we were together.

Looking back, I regret not going to the police. And I regret not telling anyone or talking to anyone about it. If anyone finds themselves in a similar situation, please don’t deal with it by hiding it. They are the one at fault; and no matter how twisted they are and how manipulative they are (and they usually are)…managing to make sure you feel ashamed for something they should feel ashamed of…no matter how difficult it is, trust me when I say, spending your life covering for an abusive relationship or hiding an assault from people, means the attacker continues to do damage to you psychologically, long after the event is over.

Considering courage in the context of a magickal philosophy made me want to make a video about how courage isn’t about not being scared…it’s about how you handle being scared. It’s about learning to trust yourself to cope with fear and have faith in your own potential abilities to turn it around. Maybe even use it to your advantage in some way.

In that way, I can look back and say 22 years ago something really bad happened to me…but ultimately, it increased my potential to overcome fear, pain, suffering…and on some level, life’s challenges are those things that create the most powerful opportunities for us to prove ourselves. My self confidence and self esteem might not be what they are today had some of these things not happened in my past. They did force me to step up to mark in a way that may not have happened any other way. Perhaps ultimately, they made me a better person; a stronger person. And perhaps ultimately, making this video might help others too. I hope so.

They say that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I would encourage that. Don’t let what doesn’t kill you make you angry, vengeful, bitter or afraid. In the strangest way, we have no control over what happens to us, but we have control over how we deal with it. See yourself as an empowered person and challenges can turn to opportunities.

Of course it’s not a simple thing; it took a lot of hard work. But do you really want to let the abusers, bullies, rapists of the world win you over to their way of seeing yourself as a victim?

PLEASE DON’T!

In considering an example it was the only situation I could think of where I was actually scared for my life…and it took me a long time to find the courage to end the relationship. I’m not proud of that. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. But anyone who has been in an abusive relationship or subject to a sexual assault…remember one thing – they are actually BREAKING THE LAW – it’s not a moral issue, it’s nothing to do with what you were wearing either. And there is a legal system that sometimes fails…but sometimes works. That is the system that rapists should face so you don’t have to allow their actions define you later. Again, this isn’t an easy thing at all. But my experience is…don’t harbor criminals.

I feel very strongly about it. It is perhaps my biggest regret not calling the police when it happened…because living with the secret was like dealing with something that happened to me (not something I did), over and over again. And it took a lot to move forward. I think it always would have – but I think I would have felt better about myself, the situation, the world, if I hadn’t kept the secrets of someone like that.

So I really intensely want to tell other victims of assault within or outside of relationships…PLEASE don’t suffer alone.

If you don’t know where to begin and seeing the police seems too difficult, tell a friend and have them phone the police. See your GP as an emergency and have them phone the police. Do whatever you can do. But don’t keep it to yourself.

Do anything you can to avoid falling into despair. Study psychotherapy…see a therapist…a counsellor…whatever help you can find, find it.

I feel like, worse than the event itself for me, were the 4 years of not even thinking to myself in words what kind of relationship I was in. I didn’t even tell myself. Let alone anyone else. That was a lot to deal with. It had a lot of consequences that dealing with it a different way wouldn’t have had.

Also remember…22 years later, things will look very different. I hadn’t lived 22 years when it actually happened…but looking back, I am a very different person now. It’s impossible to say what might ever happen to you in life…but I know for absolute certain, I would have been waiting at the police station door when it opened the next morning if it happened now.

We’re not defined by what other people do to us. Sometimes it feels like we are. But we’re not. And I dedicate my life to teaching courses that empower people (in various ways)…something I feel extremely inspired to do but something I couldn’t have imagined doing 22 years ago.

Time doesn’t heal…it’s what you do with the time that decides whether it heals…so if you can learn anything from my mistakes and my situation, please, please do. If I can make a difference to one person…save them the 4 year limbo…I’d donate a kidney to do it. So making this video, not my favourite subject, but the least I can do ❤

ALM (Mayastar)
http://www.mayastar.net

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What are Starseeds? I High Functioning Autism | God Touched | Indigo Children | Witches | Lightworkers | Uniqueness & Non-Conformity as Spiritual Ideals

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I was recently asked this on my FB group page. Answering without sounding so kookie people following the page who hadn’t heard the term might think definition meant answering it quite carefully! Some new age ideas are very old ideas but with new “jargon” or extensions of existing beliefs and ideas not new to all religions but somehow “reframed” out of context so they do come over sounding a bit far fetched!

It’s a criticism I have for the “New Age” in general. Lots of ideas without much basis and without any subjective or objective reasoning behind them…let alone citing sources that have existed for thousands of years that say the same thing in different words. I am also guilty of not citing sources. I have a really good memory (part of my aspergers – high functioning autism). But I draw a blank remembering faces. And apparently names too. When I am reading fiction I notice I almost blank names as I read them! So even if I remember the book…the cover…where I was when I read it etc, I won’t have retained the author’s name. My mind seems to consider names very unimportant which is why most people in my life have nicknames I’ve given them. It’s my weird “name blindness”.

Anyway…back to the topic…in answering the question referring to similar or associated ideas the person was likely to know instead of me rambling on with a lot of new age jargon, I feel I explained the concept well.

As a teacher of energy healing, attunement based spiritual development courses and meditation based courses, I am very aware of ensuring my writing is accessible to people who have no previous experience.

Also, I am not running a cult teaching new words for ideas that promote exclusivity…or fudge the details so people don’t realise they are not being told anything. Those are pet hates of mine.

Also, as a teacher I don’t want to alienate people who hold religious beliefs that may be different to mine. I don’t teach religion and I don’t like it when people dress ideas and philosophies as being facts. We can be as objective in our explanations as possible – but even the best articulated philosophical deductions are open to debate. (I do feel my Autism helps me to communicate higher concepts in a more accessible way because I have to do it so much as my normal life experience. It definitely helps rather than hinders my work!).

I promote freedom and empowerment so I won’t dogmatically preach theories as facts. I know some new age writers do this…but I think real understanding is only available when you digest information for yourself.

I may be hypersensitive to it…aware sometimes that a blog is addressed to people with a prior knowledge…I always try to pitch my writing so it’s useful to people without prior knowledge; defining terms sometimes makes all the difference!
Anyway…enough about my motivations for the way I addressed the question! In my own words, the answer goes something like this…

Some people believe in reincarnation. Some believe some of us had previous lives on other planets or stars perhaps in a different dimension not a physical body, but a life or origin that’s not of this earth and possibly not of this plane (dimension).

People who feel that often refer to themselves as “starseeds”.

For me personally, I think it’s very possible other worlds and types of existance are viable in addition to being a humans on earth with some kind of soul that exists beyond our biological reality.

I also do agree with the concept because as I child I recall feeling “homesick”. My Aspergers may have been part of that; some people also believe some “advanced” spiritual beings choose to reincarnate to help others achieve spiritual wholeness and that High Functioning Autism or some types of epilepsy are a part of that.

That’s not a new idea but the term “starseeded” is a new age term for it. They may also use terms like “earth angels”, “indigos” and “crystal children” etc…depending on the current trend in ideas or new ideas about old ideas!

I do feel I lived somewhere else before I came here as a human. And that it wasn’t like this. And I miss it. I think of it as being “homesick for heaven”. But I don’t claim to understand what it was or where it was. I do feel the work I do now in this life was chosen before I came here. And I feel it will continue when I leave (die). But I don’t have proof of that. It’s just something I feel so strongly it feels more real than real to me. And I have since met other people who also remember the “before life”.

Some people would suggest my feelings are born of delusion…failing to grasp that the Asper brain is not prone to delusion or irrationality; they are experiences more common to people whose beliefs are a reaction to their emotions. Rather than someone whose mind is hyper-rational. Our problems in being understood usually come from our capacity to naturally experience and express our experiences in a far more abstract way than our lower-functioning peers.

This capacity for abstract understand is why many High Functioning Autistics display unusually advanced language skills, may be drawn to mathematics and tend to show greater creativity. Not all share the same special skills or special interests. But I have no doubt that the work I do teaching energy healing and my magickal ‘career’ are advanced by my Aspergers in ways people of a neurotypical function wouldn’t experience. I wouldn’t trade my High Functioning brain for one that didn’t see music, feel colours or understand how to reweave karma (spells) the way I do. My work through www.mayastar.netand www.mayamagickal.net absolutely relies on my mind being as it is!

The long and short of it is some people believe people who are born with Higher Functioning Autism or Epilepsy (I have Temporal Lobe Epilepsy) were “god touched” thousands of years ago. That’s the phrase they would have used here centuries ago. And only relatively recently have the insights, perspectives and non-confirmity of people like me been negatively interpreted as a deficiency or fault.

This is beginning to change. With High Functioning Autistics being head hunted for their unique abilities especially in identifying problems quickly or irregularities in (for example) programming scripts that a Neurotypical wouldn’t be able to do so accurately or quickly.

And of course, the New Age has seen a revival in old spiritual and philosophical understandings that our uniqueness is a gift: an extra abilty not a disability!

If you would like to know more, I recently posted a new Whispering Witch Heart to Heart on this topic at: https://youtu.be/Azev7P4aIYM

Anna Louise May (Mayastar) Whispering Witch YouTube Channel | An Invitation & Gratitude ♡

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I’m just uploading my latest Whispering Witch video to my youtube channel. It’s about applications for the Goddess Aradia Spell which is on the current special offer…but I had to end it with a massive THANK YOU to those people who are watching my videos, liking them, giving me feed back and subscribing to the channel at www.youtube.annalouisemay.net

I was really nervous about using this medium because I have Aspergers (a type of higher functioning autism) and sometimes it means, I don’t want to talk.  I couldn’t see a way I would be able to make a channel I could use consistently in a way that would be useful. Before my dad died last year, it was something I told him I really needed to do as my business is online and as other networks are become less useful, youtube has gone from strength to strength. I wondered if maybe I might even be able to just use it post up some of my music…but couldn’t see a way of using it that would be particularly useful for my work given my limitations.

Well…the ASMR trend was the answer. And although the channel’s only been running a month, or 3 weeks, it has 45 subscribers. I don’t pay to advertise it or anything – I so share it on my other networks – but to put that in context, my WordPress Blog which I spend a lot more time on, has 30 followers.  It does get more views but people don’t tend to subscribe.

Some of the videos I’ve posted have had a much higher number of views than I would have expected. And when I happened upon the ‘analytics’ page on youtube recently I was stunned to find almost 6000 minutes of view time has been racked up in the short time the channel’s been running.

I’ve had good feed back and I’m surprised that I’ve found a niche I can cater to; my style of vlogging is not typical but it’s gone down well – much better than I hoped.

So I post every night. And I will continue to. And thank you sooooo much to those who are already watching my channel…thank you to those who have shared it with other people…thank you for the feedback and thank you for staying tuned. I’m really, really pleased and surprised.

I would be most grateful to anyone who would share this with their friends…anyone who might be interested in my work. I will quote from the ‘blurb’ that comes up in the info area of my blogs and tells you a bit about it…

“Nocturnal Heart to Heart style vlog in ASMR soft speaking format from ALM, the Whispering Witch.

A bit about me, my vlog & the format I use…

I have Aspergers (a type of high functioning autism) means I’m more comfortable using ASMR “whispered conversation”. The mutual increased focus this initiates allows a more intimate communication & natural connection.

My intention is to use whispered conversation to provide a unique & informal style that will be relaxing to watch, pleasant to hear & with subjects accessible to viewers.

PLEASE wear headphones! (straining to hear a computer speaker isn’t relaxing!)

I plan to upload various vids; some may be general or personal updates; others may be more informative, based around my spiritual & magickal work;  general chats & reviews. Also, ‘streams of consciousness’…with no fixed ‘subject’.

Please be aware, I have photosensitive epilepsy and when it gets late and I’m winding down, sometimes this affects me so I tend to wear sunglasses indoors – it’s not an attempt to look extremely cool! That’s just a side effect! I’m aware this looks kind of weird to some people but it means I don’t need meds to control seizures so I use what works for me and doesn’t have side effects.

NOTE: Although Whispering is used in ASMR, I use this technique because it is more comfortable for my autism & is a natural part of my night when I’m winding down for bed. More info on my intro vid – https://youtu.be/dNPMSkX5q9I

If this sounds at all compelling, please tune in and please share the love! XXX

With blessings,
ALM (Mayastar) aka The Whispering Witch

Maya Magickal Update | Price Increases for Magickal Intensives | Killing Moon Karmic Reversal | LightBody Activation Initiation Programme

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The price increases for Magickal Intensives will take effect from June.  The options affected most significantly are those that are popular to the point that I’m over-booked now more months than I’m not!

So the Killing Moon Karmic Reversal 30 Day Ritual Intensive – www.mayamagickal.net/killingmoon.htm which is currently £600 for the full 30 days, will be increased to £800 after the June cycle begins.

The LightBody Activation Initiation Intensive (which is a 21 day programme) detailed atwww.mayamagickal.net/healingintensives.htmwill also be increased from £600 to £800.

Magickal Intensives that include either or both of these options will also be affected. These can be found at www.mayamagickal.net/magickalintensives.htm

These changes will be taking effect in a matter of days so if you’re considering taking any of the options affected buying now rather than later would be recommended if you wanted to take advantage of the existing prices.

Additionally, if you would like information regarding reversal spells, psychic self defence, psychic attack and protection, as well as the details on the website that can be found at the links above, you may also wish to visit my blog at www.wordpress.annalouisemay.net where there are a number of articles that expand on the information on the site; the same goes for initiation work, self realisation and magick in general.  You can also find articles on my channel at www.youtube.annalouisemay.net.

“Through Our Eyes: Living with Asperger’s” | Aspergirl | Magick | Mayastar | Meditation | Energy Healing

https://youtu.be/2TSlti5bioQ

I’ve blogged abt my aspergers…vlogged about my aspergers. And being able to use my High Functioning to do my work and do it in ways that a Neurotypical couldn’t, is a fulfilling experience. Living within my means when it comes to social connection, sensory stimulation (have to be more careful because those thing can trigger seizures – perhaps more now than when I was younger), and managing the additional anxiety (aspies make less oxytocin than neurotypicals – that means we don’t have the same way out of stress – most of us develop strategies for that through experience though so that’s something that’s become much easier with time for me).

But sometimes…one of the most depressing things to hear, is someone saying my brain wiring is a syndrome…is your eye colour a syndrome? Would you feel weird if people said you had been born with curly hair syndrome?

I’m sure you would. I feel the same when people see my autism as separate to me. Or they disregard or judge certain aspects while celebrating others. As if certain parts of me are not really connected. I don’t feel that way in myself…I think perhaps it reflects a limitation of the neurotypical mind that it can’t conceive mine as integrated!

People who know me know the challenges I have worked with – my total recall memory for example…great for learning but a nightmare if something bad happens and you remember it.

For me…the best thing that ever happened to me was my formal diagnosis – it meant I could research it and many more things made sense. Also, when you understand the physiological root of some tendencies it’s far easier to look for useful changes in behaviour or habit that will make life easier.

My routine is vital to my well being for reasons different to those a NT would cite. But if it means I eat healthy, exercise, don’t drink or smoke, meditate regularly etc. These are habits that would probably benefit a lot of people!

My habit of being nocturnal also helps a great deal but it works well for me. Magick (the actual process of Self Realisation – not the card game and not conjuring!), was my special interest from an early age and now that’s a huge advantage in my work (teaching online courses for energy healing, spiritual development & meditation – and doing ritual work to help people).

If it wasn’t for the extraordinary advantages that come as part of my autism, I wouldn’t have the extraordinary life I have now.

So I absolutely in no way shape or form would trade myself as I am for a more “ordinary” version ♡

ALM (Maya)

www.wordpress.annalouisemay.net
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ASMR Aspergirl Whispering Witch Nocturnal Chat YouTube Channel | Lightworker | Mayastar Academy | Maya Magickal Spells & Personalised Initiation Programmes

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New YouTube Channel:

www.youtube.annalouisemay.net

ASMR/Quiet Talking bedroom chitchat from the Whispering Witch!

I am an Aspergirl, Blogger, Lightworker & Modern Mystic.

My Aspergers (a type of high functioning autism) means I’m more comfortable using the ASMR “whispered conversation” method. The mutual increased focus this initiates allows for a more intimate communication & natural connection.

My intention is to provide a unique, relaxed & informal style for viewers.

If you are new to ASMR pls give it a chance…at first it may seem odd but it’s a wonderful method of having a heart to heart “vibe”. I also recommend headphones.

I teach online energy healing, meditation & spiritual development courses, so I plan to cover related subjects as well as hobbies, reviews & personal updates.

I hope you will enjoy!

Xxx

ALM (Maya)

http://www.mayastar.net
http//www.mayamagickal.net
http://www.annalouisemay.net FB
http://www.wordpress.annalouisemay.net
http://www.youtube.annalouisemay.net

@annalouisemay on Tumblr, Flickr, Blogger, WordPress, G+, Instagram & Twitter

Protection Spells | Reversal Spells | Love Spells | Black Magick | Karma

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Today’s bathtime blog taken from a client question regarding the karmic implications of protection spells…which relates to exorcism or reversals too as they have a similar structure.

Brought to you from a Yoga Bomb BathBomb from Lush hot bath…with red moodlights. Today extra long bath because I woke up with my head tipped back in my sleep. It’s a weird problem. If I sleep on my back I am fine. If I roll on my side I seem to tip my head back and wake up with a stiff neck. When I do, I now boycott my workout because I don’t want to risk injury.

I have considered sleeping in a neck corset (aka posture collar) to prevent me doing it. It’s such an irritation when I do it that I don’t think a posture collar would be a major hassle. It seems like a great idea. I wear corsets in bed (for rib contouring…also they help me relax as the hug emulation increases my oxytocin level. V handy if you’re autistic! Physiological differences in brain wiring means we make much less than neurotypicals and oxytocin counters stress hormones so tight lacing is actually good for my health!). But if I get a posture collar I definitely want one that’s made to fit properly and is breathable.

Pleased with myself for this new idea…wondering why I never thought of trying it before.

Anyway, for now a looong soak followed by a massage will work the kinks out!

So…my customer raised an interesting question. If a spell returns negative intentions/actions (which create negative karmic bonds) back to their source, is that karmically sound? It does on the surface allow an interpretation of “an eye for an eye”. But there is no intention to retailiate. The spell works from the client out rather than focusing on the other person/people. It’s not akin to a hex or attack. But there is a very important reason why we don’t just cut the links. The main one being they tend to get reinstated by the other person. If someone considers you an enemy and projects negative intentions towards you, the situation may persist until they resolve the karmic link from their end.

An extreme example…if you had stalker and to avoid the stress, you moved house thinking “out of sight out of mind”, it wouldn’t necessarily change their intentions. Restraining orders would be applicable of course. But on a magickal level, you can remove the bond from your side…but over time they will reestablish the bond because it’s their issue. The only real way to stop it would be to resolve the karma and that’s why the spell works the way it does.

It doesn’t create negative karma. The key is the spell dissolves and resolves any negative karmic bond. The resolution of karma is in line with Universal Law – can allow the 3rd party to realign with Universal Law and actually solve the problem rather than fire fighting.

It may be the person at the source needs to resolve it to move on and develop and if you detroy the Karmic bond entirely, their option to evolve beyond it might be interrupted. Denying them their Karma would create negative karma!

The spell is bound to work only in alignment with Universal Law…so we have to trust to the Universe to resolve or dissolve as appropriate. We can’t decide what’s best for the other person. But the Universe can be trusted. We are all united by Universal Law (Dharma) which is the evolution spiritually of all things. All people. All creation.

Protection spells and reversals are not used to retaliate. I wrote them to ensure they couldn’t be compromised in any way by our emotions or intentions. Emotionally if someone hits you, you may want to hit them back rather than just protect yourself. So the spells are written to make sure we don’t inadvertantly cause harm in the heat of the moment. But instead work to establish harmony from the inside out.

It’s down to the Universe whether a bond can be dissolved or needs to be returned for resolution. If we think otherwise, it’s the ego talking. The Higher Self seeks harmony and balance; alignment with Universal Law.

All my workings follow this philosophy. I don’t use black magick. And I have studied and practiced magick for nearly 28 years…I don’t claim to be an authority but I definitely understand now principles I didn’t understand as a teenager!

I won’t do spells on 3rd parties or without the recipient’s consent. No spell should ever be done without the focus of that spell knowing about it. It’s very important – not only Karmically…but a spell done without someone’s knowledge or consent is far less likely to have any lasting result!

Even a spell for healing, if done without the subject’s consent would be black magick regardless of the caster’s intention; it would mean manipulation of their free will and that’s the kind of magick that always carries karmic debt. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions and magickally that’s something you need to know and understand.

Most black magick is carried out by amateurs in the “name of love” for what the mage/witch believes is a good intention. But the fact they consider they know best is testament to the fact it’s the ego calling the shots. Not the Higher Will.

A good test is, if you want to do a spell for a third party but you want to hide the fact from them, there can’t be a truly karmically sound intention.

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