Tag Archive | self awareness

What is a Narcissist? The Spiritual Damage & Self Healing When they’re gone! (From a Psychic Perspective)

I have blogged before about Narcissistic Personality Disorder & the psychic effect it has on those around the Narcissist. 

One of the most common problems people face after being involved in any context, with someone who is narcissistic (self centred…remember not everyone with selfish tendencies is classified narcissist but they may share some of the issues and create similar problems…resulting in similar fall out for those around them).

A narcissist is unconscious of the value and autonomy of people around them. In many ways their situation is like that of a child trapped in the “terrible twos” – complete with tantrums, deception and a childish belief that the world revolves around them.

Most grow out of this stage. It is the emergence of the Ego and in many ways the beginning of psychological autonomy. So it’s considered and is a natural growth phase. And beyond it the higher faculties are developed – empathy in particular and the ability to identify with others and to know humility.

In the narcissist something internal or external stunts this growth. Narcissistic brains tend to be highly intelligent and the process of maturation takes longer. It may be that certain stages are bypassed and emotional maturity is never achieved…it may be that being treated as an over achiever during their extended formative years means that those with narcissistic tendencies experience a longer period in which things can go wrong; that nature and nurture combine to inhibit the realisation of objective consciousness.

That’s just a theory. But as an autistic I have always found narcissists a curiosity and a proof that the theory about autistic people lacking empathy is not the case. I can only speak for myself in that and with my family members but early on I seemed to overly empathise. I never had tantrums. I never rebelled. And I think autistics with high functioning either develop so quickly through the ego phase or it’s so insignificant to our sense of reality (which is very abstract generally), we are the psychological opposite of narcissists in many ways.

I certainly feel narcissistic people seem to have a problem with me because their usual manipulations or attention seeking/self validating behaviours don’t exert the desired response from me.

Narcissistic personalities can be covert or overt and the abuse they perpetuate depends much on their type. Coverts can be very controlling and manipulative – mind games, martyr complexes and hyperchondria that means they can assume a victim role throughout life. Overts may be more obvious. Talking over you or verbally abusing you. They may even become physically abusive.

But the real damage is caused by the controlling behaviours however they are expressed. The genuine victim of a narcissist often questions their own sanity and wonders if they are the narcissist. And narcissists encourage that kind of blurring of the edges…where they end and you begin.

This kind of manipulation of reality that leaves you wondering just what you’re seeing and doubting yourself is called “gas lighting” and is a deliberate tactic in control and manipulation. 

Of all abuses I think this gradual undermining of another’s sense of self and sense of reality has the most insidious side effects. It happens so gradually and is common to all narcissistic types and it casts the longest shadow in victims because of its very nature.

Addressing and removing yourself from s situation of physical or verbal abuse is easy to see. The damage done by the gas lighting really isn’t and it’s more prevalent because covert narcissists do the same thing.

Psychically this leaves the victim with the fear that they are the “bad one”; deficient in some way; unprofessional and to blame. A feeling that can take a very long time to move on from because of its nebulous nature.

Remember, the narcissist doesn’t ever stop to wonder if they are at fault. This is the chasm between the narcissist and others. Their sense of entitlement and lack of consciousness and self awareness. For them, it’s a given that the fault is someone else’s so if you are left doubting yourself, you are not the narcissist.

This kind of undermining of the victim creates problems though. Low self esteem. Anxiety. A tendency to over analyse or take on more responsibility in any given situation than is realistic. But worst I think is the sense of unreality. The  victim buys into the narcissist’s view and sacrifices their own and regaining that centering isn’t easy.

On a psychic level this is the real damage of the psychic attack. There are implications on all levels and spiritually it can cause all kinds of ambivalence as the mind swings from idea to idea seeking a truth.

Many clients and students come to me to begin healing this sense of ungroundedness. And energy healing, meditation and certain rituals can certainly help. But it is as if you leave the relationship or connection with an addiction. An addiction to a person or a habit of allowing them to think for you. And that can feel disorientating or terrifying by turns for a long time. It takes time to heal and the first step is acknowledging you are not imagining it.

The psychological damage caused is what we would call a psychic attack and because you’re juggling the other attacks you may not notice it happening.

But despite the nightmare of it, if you choose the right tools to help you through, you can gain great insight into yourself and a unique perspective of the world and of life.

It creates an opportunity where you have to start again because you can’t go back to a point before happened. Starting from scratch with experience and wisdom means you have access to a greater potential happiness than you had in the past. It won’t be easy! But I can personally vouch for the fact that energy work, meditation and magick can make it easier!

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Why Gatsby Always Succeeds…& How You Can Ensure YOU Define Your Life (Before it Defines You)

Enjoying happiness, fulfillment  & success in all areas of your life? No exceptions. Achieving your dreams? Manifesting your goals every time without comprise?

It’s a tall order and I am inspired anew so regularly that I think I may write this blog in a number of parts! It’s a huge subject and considering different elements of the overall philosophy can hugely benefit people in truly living a meaningful life. Staying inspired is a big part of ultimate success.

As a witch and energy healing teacher I am often asked about subjects that boil down to be being related to what I am going to blog about so I have considered and studied widely in this area.  

I think it’s important to emphasise that to practice magick (real magick) and spellcrafting requires a commitment and dedication to the study and understanding of subjective, objective, internal and external factors involved in any  situation. Without that preliminary work, you couldn’t go on create spells at all – let alone ones that work.
An analogy might be – you want to knit a jumper. You know you need wool, needles and a pattern. You get these. A jumper doesn’t manifest itself after you bought them. If you don’t know how to knit or read the pattern you weren’t at a stage of being ready to achieve that. 

You are looking at the result as if the ingredients are magickal in and of themselves. When sometimes the most important thing is to enjoy the journey. Know there is work to do. And decide if you want it enough to put that in. If you don’t, you’re just deluding yourself about what you want.

Many people aspire to spiritual gifts but not everyone will be cut out for the one they think they want to choose. But if you are sure of your “destination”, the fact a jumper didn’t magickally create itself spurs you to learn! The idea of being able to make it inspires you. You don’t see any other way. Because it is what you really want. So you study to get yourself into a position where the yarn, needles and pattern are useful to you. This is not a hardship! It’s exciting. Fun. Part of the journey. 

Many people gather the ingredients…see this jumper doesn’t make itself. Think in a defeatist way that they have failed. Or externalise it and think he system has failed. “It won’t work. I give up.”

Well, if you choose to see challenges as failures you are doomed to create that reality for yourself!

If you say you have failed and give up I am sure you will manage to fail. It’s what you chose! In this sense we literally create out reality. The emotional blow, the financial cost, the physical stress – all come from your unshakeable assertion that somehow you were a victim. You decide in that way that you can’t change your future too…and so the problem compounds itself.

If instead of this you look at the bigger picture…imagine yourself making or wearing the jumper…imagine yourself knitting as you watch TV in the evening and can see how these are things will make you feel good. They are what you want. Your choice changes your “destination”. Your attitude is liable to be very different!  You see you have the ingredients! Excellent! Now you only need the knowhow and skill…you can get them! Fantastic. You take a class, join a club. You practice! You make some scarves and blankets and learn different stitches so you have experience and skill to go with your intention and goal.

It may take time. Maybe years. It will require dedication and practice  to prepare for it, begin it and complete it. But if you choose that destination, you WILL undoubtedly realise it. One day you will be in a position to knit that jumper. You know it. You believe it. You don’t even consider failure as an option! You create your reality.

You may use other techniques to support your efforts. Visualisation. Affirmations about yourself to increase focus and self belief. Or magick to resolve your habit of negativity and self sabotage that’s been hindering you in the past. 

But even through learning these new supportive techniques you will be acquiring tools and developing a state of mind that is resilient and increases your possibilities of success in all areas if your life. 

It’s amazing what a difference to the realisation of your intentions such steps create.

In this Gatsby is a most compelling and inspirational character. He understands the work he needs to do to achieve his goal and sets about it immediately. He lets go of his past or any resistance caused by it in one moment. He becomes unshakeable in his destiny and devotes himself to creating a situation in which he can realise it.

This means he isn’t just Gatsby but truly the Great Gatsby at that point.

You may think the story is a cautionary tale of a narcissist who is so self centred he creates his own world in which he can be who he thinks he should be. Except his motivation for this is love. And all the external superficial storytelling and “self promotion” doesn’t corrupt him. He doesn’t change his personality or motivation. He isn’t swayed by the fact he can have what other people want because his focus remains always on fulfilling his destiny and achieving what he wants. 

That’s what makes him Great.

A lesser person would lose that perspective at some stage. A lesser person would give up. A lesser person would become corrupted and allow the world to define them and thereby lose their integrity. This doesn’t happen to Gatsby!

You may think Gatsby is wrong when he believes he can turn back time if you take it as a literal assertion. I see it differently and believe his is absolutely right! If you consider he believes he can change what happens by choosing the course his life will take than if he hadn’t made that choice and given it his all he is asserting his destiny to fail was false and that he knew that he wouldn’t choose it. He would make the decision. He would never waver.

The film (The Great Gatsby) is so inspiring to me that I listen to soundtrack sometimes to remind me of the positive and (in my opinion) accurate belief that life is what you make it. And only you can choose what you make it.

I even picture Leonardo DiCaprio as Gatsby saying “of course you can” whenever his power to achieve his goals is questioned.

I highly recommend the film! And the book. But even if you’re not into that, I recommend the sentiment…

…define your life…and it will never define you. You cannot lose. You cannot be a victim. You cannot fail. Unless you choose to.

X

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I was raped. Courage & Self Realisation. Are life’s challenges our most powerful opportunities?

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOpWsw1Hvl8

22 Years ago, I was raped by my long term partner.

I was young and this had seemed to come out of the blue. He became physically, mentally and emotionally abusive after this…he also had 4 affairs that I know of during the 9 years total we were together.

Looking back, I regret not going to the police. And I regret not telling anyone or talking to anyone about it. If anyone finds themselves in a similar situation, please don’t deal with it by hiding it. They are the one at fault; and no matter how twisted they are and how manipulative they are (and they usually are)…managing to make sure you feel ashamed for something they should feel ashamed of…no matter how difficult it is, trust me when I say, spending your life covering for an abusive relationship or hiding an assault from people, means the attacker continues to do damage to you psychologically, long after the event is over.

Considering courage in the context of a magickal philosophy made me want to make a video about how courage isn’t about not being scared…it’s about how you handle being scared. It’s about learning to trust yourself to cope with fear and have faith in your own potential abilities to turn it around. Maybe even use it to your advantage in some way.

In that way, I can look back and say 22 years ago something really bad happened to me…but ultimately, it increased my potential to overcome fear, pain, suffering…and on some level, life’s challenges are those things that create the most powerful opportunities for us to prove ourselves. My self confidence and self esteem might not be what they are today had some of these things not happened in my past. They did force me to step up to mark in a way that may not have happened any other way. Perhaps ultimately, they made me a better person; a stronger person. And perhaps ultimately, making this video might help others too. I hope so.

They say that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I would encourage that. Don’t let what doesn’t kill you make you angry, vengeful, bitter or afraid. In the strangest way, we have no control over what happens to us, but we have control over how we deal with it. See yourself as an empowered person and challenges can turn to opportunities.

Of course it’s not a simple thing; it took a lot of hard work. But do you really want to let the abusers, bullies, rapists of the world win you over to their way of seeing yourself as a victim?

PLEASE DON’T!

In considering an example it was the only situation I could think of where I was actually scared for my life…and it took me a long time to find the courage to end the relationship. I’m not proud of that. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. But anyone who has been in an abusive relationship or subject to a sexual assault…remember one thing – they are actually BREAKING THE LAW – it’s not a moral issue, it’s nothing to do with what you were wearing either. And there is a legal system that sometimes fails…but sometimes works. That is the system that rapists should face so you don’t have to allow their actions define you later. Again, this isn’t an easy thing at all. But my experience is…don’t harbor criminals.

I feel very strongly about it. It is perhaps my biggest regret not calling the police when it happened…because living with the secret was like dealing with something that happened to me (not something I did), over and over again. And it took a lot to move forward. I think it always would have – but I think I would have felt better about myself, the situation, the world, if I hadn’t kept the secrets of someone like that.

So I really intensely want to tell other victims of assault within or outside of relationships…PLEASE don’t suffer alone.

If you don’t know where to begin and seeing the police seems too difficult, tell a friend and have them phone the police. See your GP as an emergency and have them phone the police. Do whatever you can do. But don’t keep it to yourself.

Do anything you can to avoid falling into despair. Study psychotherapy…see a therapist…a counsellor…whatever help you can find, find it.

I feel like, worse than the event itself for me, were the 4 years of not even thinking to myself in words what kind of relationship I was in. I didn’t even tell myself. Let alone anyone else. That was a lot to deal with. It had a lot of consequences that dealing with it a different way wouldn’t have had.

Also remember…22 years later, things will look very different. I hadn’t lived 22 years when it actually happened…but looking back, I am a very different person now. It’s impossible to say what might ever happen to you in life…but I know for absolute certain, I would have been waiting at the police station door when it opened the next morning if it happened now.

We’re not defined by what other people do to us. Sometimes it feels like we are. But we’re not. And I dedicate my life to teaching courses that empower people (in various ways)…something I feel extremely inspired to do but something I couldn’t have imagined doing 22 years ago.

Time doesn’t heal…it’s what you do with the time that decides whether it heals…so if you can learn anything from my mistakes and my situation, please, please do. If I can make a difference to one person…save them the 4 year limbo…I’d donate a kidney to do it. So making this video, not my favourite subject, but the least I can do ❤

ALM (Mayastar)
http://www.mayastar.net

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How do I remember life before life…am I remembering #heaven?

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https://youtu.be/Azev7P4aIYM

NEW VID | https://youtu.be/Azev7P4aIYM | #SoftSpeaking #ASMR #WhisperingWitch. How do I remember life before life…am I remembering #heaven?. New #Whispering #Witch #Nocturnal #Heart to Heart.

Am I a #Starseed? #Indigo Child? #EarthAngel? #Witch? #Pleiadian? #Lightworker? #ThirdGender? #Shaman? #TemporalLobeEpilepsy #TLE #Aspergers #HighFunctioningAutism #Asper #Aspie #Aspergirl

Online Lightworker & #Spiritual Facilitator #EnergyHealing & #SpiritualDevelopment http://www.mayastar.net & http://www.mayamagickal.net

“Through Our Eyes: Living with Asperger’s” | Aspergirl | Magick | Mayastar | Meditation | Energy Healing

https://youtu.be/2TSlti5bioQ

I’ve blogged abt my aspergers…vlogged about my aspergers. And being able to use my High Functioning to do my work and do it in ways that a Neurotypical couldn’t, is a fulfilling experience. Living within my means when it comes to social connection, sensory stimulation (have to be more careful because those thing can trigger seizures – perhaps more now than when I was younger), and managing the additional anxiety (aspies make less oxytocin than neurotypicals – that means we don’t have the same way out of stress – most of us develop strategies for that through experience though so that’s something that’s become much easier with time for me).

But sometimes…one of the most depressing things to hear, is someone saying my brain wiring is a syndrome…is your eye colour a syndrome? Would you feel weird if people said you had been born with curly hair syndrome?

I’m sure you would. I feel the same when people see my autism as separate to me. Or they disregard or judge certain aspects while celebrating others. As if certain parts of me are not really connected. I don’t feel that way in myself…I think perhaps it reflects a limitation of the neurotypical mind that it can’t conceive mine as integrated!

People who know me know the challenges I have worked with – my total recall memory for example…great for learning but a nightmare if something bad happens and you remember it.

For me…the best thing that ever happened to me was my formal diagnosis – it meant I could research it and many more things made sense. Also, when you understand the physiological root of some tendencies it’s far easier to look for useful changes in behaviour or habit that will make life easier.

My routine is vital to my well being for reasons different to those a NT would cite. But if it means I eat healthy, exercise, don’t drink or smoke, meditate regularly etc. These are habits that would probably benefit a lot of people!

My habit of being nocturnal also helps a great deal but it works well for me. Magick (the actual process of Self Realisation – not the card game and not conjuring!), was my special interest from an early age and now that’s a huge advantage in my work (teaching online courses for energy healing, spiritual development & meditation – and doing ritual work to help people).

If it wasn’t for the extraordinary advantages that come as part of my autism, I wouldn’t have the extraordinary life I have now.

So I absolutely in no way shape or form would trade myself as I am for a more “ordinary” version ♡

ALM (Maya)

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ASMR Aspergirl Whispering Witch Nocturnal Chat YouTube Channel | Lightworker | Mayastar Academy | Maya Magickal Spells & Personalised Initiation Programmes

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New YouTube Channel:

www.youtube.annalouisemay.net

ASMR/Quiet Talking bedroom chitchat from the Whispering Witch!

I am an Aspergirl, Blogger, Lightworker & Modern Mystic.

My Aspergers (a type of high functioning autism) means I’m more comfortable using the ASMR “whispered conversation” method. The mutual increased focus this initiates allows for a more intimate communication & natural connection.

My intention is to provide a unique, relaxed & informal style for viewers.

If you are new to ASMR pls give it a chance…at first it may seem odd but it’s a wonderful method of having a heart to heart “vibe”. I also recommend headphones.

I teach online energy healing, meditation & spiritual development courses, so I plan to cover related subjects as well as hobbies, reviews & personal updates.

I hope you will enjoy!

Xxx

ALM (Maya)

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A Magickal Info Blog | Is Lying Abuse? | Manipulation | Psychic Attack | Black Magick | Intention | Deception | “An it Harm None” | Ethics | Karma | Forgiveness | The Danger of Passivity

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Today’s bathtime blog is about lying…what are the magickal implications of deception? What are the Karmic implications of lying from a philosophical stand point and what is the Magickal standpoint!?

Many will simply summarise magick and the philosophy of “real magick” (the path to Self-Realisation) in a few terms that they fail to qualify with definition or explanation, rendering them essentially meaningless!

I am endeavouring to ensure my blogs don’t make assumptions about definitions so sometimes I will reitterate basic precepts before providing an analysis on the subject at hand. The analysis is a personal and subjective understanding…these are original articles; not copies!

An example of an unqualified meaninglesd statement is the often banded about definition of Magick: “Magick is the art of causing change to occur in accordance with Will.” Without a definition of Will, that doesn’t explain magick at all!

Also the often parrotted phrase “An it harm none, do what thou will” – is equally meaningless unless we define “harm” and “will”.

So this blog will begin with an over view of magick. The definition of terms. And then elaborate on the conclusions we can draw. I may include a personal anecdote as an example…I will see if I think that would assist in my “analysis” and make some concepts a bit more accessible by looking at a recent situation that inspired this pondering!

Previous articles about my magickal work (Maya Magickal Spells & Personalised Initiation Programmes) have briefly described the actual definition of Magick. But in my blog I like to cover some more specific details. I think that way it helps to illustrate things that enable a better understanding.

So let’s begin with an overview of what Magick is…

Sometimes Magick is called a mystery religion or cult. Or “The Black Arts”. The latter may sound ominous but using the words “dark” or “black” around Magick refers to the secrecy and hidden or symbolic meaning around it. Not to any tendency to darkness. But to remind us that Magick itself is an abstract process that we undertake in order to advance spiritually.

The rituals and magickal tools common to Western Tradition Magick…even the words we use when describing Magick or practising ritual, need to be understood as symbolic of the reality they represent. Otherwise Magick would be a combinations of play acting and wishful thinking!

Magick is the path to Self-Realisation for those moved (or “called”) to reconnect in a personal sense with that abstract divinity that exists within us; without us; and in all ways transcends us.

Magick doesn’t refer to a specific method of achieving this. The whole life of a person is part of their development. Every experience is an opportunity to apply those principles that are an expression of our highest, purest and most perfect Self. The Higher Self.

Living out that Philosophy of Magick means we are striving consciously to align our actions, thoughts and feelings with our Higher Self. The Higher Self is the Source of our Will: Our Truth.

This is a major commitment to a process rather than a practice because there is no part of your life that doesn’t have significance. The most mundane elements of life are as important as the most transcendental when we consider them from the objective stance of the Philosophy of Magick. So as a path, it isn’t appealing to everyone. It isn’t a shortcut. It really is a devotion to the process of “refinement” and marked by the discipline to make our choices based on our Higher Will in all aspects of life.

Even for the most commited, this isn’t an “easy” choice. It’s a series of choices and it does become easier but it often means we’re required the right thing to remain in alignment with our intentions.

We will experience the same challenges with family commitments, work, relationships, making ends meet and social situations that may seem more easily solved in the short term by ignoring our Higher Will. We may struggle with dependence on drugs or alcohol. We may over eat or partake in other self destructive behaviours. All many of things can pose obstacles. But obstacles can provide us with the opportunity to exceed ourselves and may be a vital part of our development. But everyone will struggle sometimes with these things from time to time and it’s natural that sometimes we will lose perspective and need to resolve that later.

These things may set us at odds with our Will. Our apparently immediate needs may sometimes eclipse our ability to retain alignment with our Truth.

We may sometimes take time to recognise the state of incongruity we are in. And we may find we are very eloquent when it comes to justifying our bad choices over those we know instinctively would be a closer match to those of the True Will.

So The Will as far as Magickal Philosphy is concerned, is the Truth of our Highest Intentions. It requires a lot of discipline, dedication and development of Self Awareness for us to approach the realisation of that Truth. Anything that we do that isn’t in alignment with that truth is born of lower needs or desires. The “wants” of ego based consciousness.

Magick doesn’t mean destroying the ego, but it does mean making our Higher Will second nature and reconciling our ego to this; accepting it with a different perspective so we keep a balance on all levels.

Retaining balance isn’t easy – most will develop/evolve spiritually and emotionally throughout their lives with swings back and forth between our Higher and Lower intentions. Magick means being active in the process of seeking that balance in order that we may progress spiritually.

So we have covered Magick…and the Will and how that fits into the Philosophy of Magick, lets have a look at the second statement…

“An it harm none, do what thou Will” already has some clarification with the definition of Will.

However, this is often soooo badly misinterpreted as the idea of the freedom to hedonistic indulgences by the less self-aware among us! Those with a very ego based consciousness find such a concept attractive. But doing our Will doesn’t mean the same as doing what we “want”.

That would be very primitive and ego based interpretation of “Will”. It would define our base urges and wants as being our primary motivation in life. So the aspiring Mage’s first lesson is to learn the difference!

Those seeking to learn Magick would do well to additionally study Yoga (especially Bhakti Yoga which is very similar philosophically to Magick); and Carl Jung’s work on psychoanalysis and the process of individuation.

Now…”harm”. How would we define it…magickally. Magickally speaking the intention to cause someone harm is obviously unacceptable. Such an intention would have a hindering effect on the subject’s evolution consciously. Keeping them bound to an Ego centred state.

Ego based consciousness is an emotionally immature state that reflects a spiritually immature state. So hindering your own development would not be congruent with the True Will. That’s the first very basic problem with lying. But by far it’s only the start of the problem.

A famous man once said “Judge not, lest ye be judged”. An idea that concisely summarises the problem of negative intentions projected outward: the subject is affected by their intention far more than the object of their intention. Lying is an intentional act.

Projecting negative intentions can have a restrictive effect on the other person too. Negative bonds can be created through this and over time may affect the object on an energetic level. That creates a Karmic debt between the negative intender and the victim of one. A situation that is potentially increasingly harmful if it persists. (Reversal spells are used to resolve and dissolve negative karmic bonds however they are created – for example The Nataraj Dance of Destruction Tantric Shamanic Ritual).

Ego centred mindsets such as those in Narcissistic Personality Disordered people can create a lot of them too. Sometimes deliberately and sometimes unconsciously. The problem being they don’t have a sense of needing to resolve the imbalance they create – so people around them may find themselves manipulated or deceived because the conscience of the perpetrator lacks the normal conscience that prevents most of us directing our bad intentions outward.

Magick is the path to Spiritual Maturity but it is reflected in our mental and emotional lives too so if someone seems badly adjusted emotionally, you can know that there is a spiritual and mental component to that imbalance.

So harm, in a magickal sense, is any action or choice made that has a negative impact on yourself or on another. A negative impact means anything that may inhibit the evolution of consciousness and self realisation for yourself or another.

Most black magick is carried out by amateurs in the form of healing spells or love spells which they believe are well intended. However, no one has the position of authority to decide what’s right for another person. If you have their permission that’s different. If you don’t, it’s black magick and is being used to manipulate another person to conform to your wishes as if you were the authority. So no matter how well intended it may be, Karmically you are doing a bad thing. Magickally your Ego is calling the shots and it’s liable to hurt you and others.

Everyone has the choice. And sometimes part of our soul development means we need to suffer in some ways. We may need to hit rock bottom from time to time to be able to realise our potential. And as much as it may be hard to see someone suffer, you never have the right to try to remove that without their consent. Nor should you. You wouldn’t inject an upset person to stop them crying. It would be wrong. Doing a similar thing using magick is the same karmically. Doing it by lying to them is the same. All are methods of manipulation and control that involve taking away someone’s opportunity to learn from a mistake or a painful situation. That might be the worst kind of harm you could do to them; deny them their potential.

It’s important for any aspiring magician, witch or mystic to learn to recognise these red flags in their own behaviour and to resolve them; not to passively assume they will sort themselves out. Passivity is also a choice. Standing by and doing nothing when you witness an injustice comes with a Karmic price. And choosing not to consciously deal with your own problems means your consciously accepting those problems.

Conscious neglect may be as harmful to the aspirant as it is to people around them. A habit of “opting out” can be a destructive habit. And choice to make no choice so there is a Karmic debt associated with it.

If you’re following this train of thought regarding the situation of lying…it’s a question that you have probably found an answer to a couple of paragraphs back!

Yes. Lying is manipulation and magickally synonymous with black magick as is any attempt by any other means to manipulate someone to conform to your wants (your Ego).

It requires a conscious decision to perpetuate such a crime against another; a decision defines you. You can’t be in alignment with your Truth if you’re able to lie to another person. It’s simply not possible.

We know the harm that lying does to the liar psychologically. They condemn themselves to exist in a world where everyone is a potential enemy and to an extent dehumanised. This means they can’t truly trust so cannot truly love. They are bound by their actions.

The evolution of consciousness requires honesty as basis. If we can’t be completely honest with ourselves, we’re kind of doomed to remain emotionally and spiritually stunted. Also over time such a bad habit can lead to paranoid thinking and delusion.

So before you try to justify lying by ommission or justify the use of “a white lie” to save someone’s feelings, consider the true implications of deception…

Drug addicts can justify self destructive behaviours till the cows come home. Then they can justify their self destructive behaviours to the cows. But did justification in the mind of any junkie or alcoholic of their own bad habits ever save them from an overdose or liver damage? Of course not.

Justifying your reason for lying is similarly pointless. Potentially dangerous because your trying to delude yourself. Essentially trying to brainwash yourself to make the unacceptable, acceptable to you.

I will use the personal anecdote to illustrate this…

Recently an ex got in touch with me. He claimed he wanted forgiveness for essentially scamming me two years ago. His crime was deception. But how this escalated and the conclusion of the story sort of illustrates how damaging it was ultimately to him and everyone around him.

His lies to me began as claims he was doing work for me. Learning software to convert my website. I paid him monthly for this. He was my fiance and I didn’t think a 40 year old man needed to be chased up. I didn’t consider he might just be nothing at all. I found that out later though that he had been accepting the money and not doing any of the work at all.

I am a busy person and I enjoy my work and my hobbies so I didn’t have the time nor the resources to babysit someone who didn’t have any initiative or principles by constantly being “on them”. Also, as a 40 year old man I expected him to have some ethics! A fair enough assumption but ultimately incorrect! So his first lies were by ommission and half truths.

When he left it was undoubtedly because he knew I would find him out.

But in order to leave he had to come up with lies for his family as to why he was “running away”. It was a mystery to me what he could have come up with that would even be believable. His family know I work for myself. I have my own home. I work hard and I enjoy my work. They know I am a bit of a hippie and a bit of a bohemian. But also that I am disciplined when it comes to my work and my life – I keep fit, I dance, I play music and study. And most of all, that information isn’t a secret. Because my work is primarily web based (Mayastar Academy Online Natural Healing & Spiritual Development Courses and Maya Magickal Spells & Personalised Initiation Programmes ) and has been since 2004, I have a significant online presence. I keep this blog of course…but also I use social media as part of my work and in my hobbies. So anyone typing “annalouisemay” into Google would quite quickly find out what I’m doing half the time!

So I guessed he lied to his elderly parents hoping they wouldn’t be computer literate enough to find out the truth.

Anyway. That was two years ago and I have a life…so I moved on. His email wasn’t expected and I was honest with him saying, you can email me and I will read it but I don’t know that I will be able to forgive you because I have moved on and I don’t think I care enough to be moved one way or the other by anything you have to say.

And he emailed me his “explanation” for his 14 month “long con”. He had a lot of excuses…nothing that would in any way justify his behaviour. And it came off as a list of excuses. Not an apology at all but rather an attempt to vindicate himself…to assuage the problematic “holes” in his story for his own benefit. It definitely didn’t indicate any sense of personal responsibility or genuine contrition.

It wasn’t even the truth in fact. He claimed he had lied to his parents about his life being at risk because of me a Witch. He didn’t elaborate on how that was put to his parents though. Did he claim I threatened him? That I was a satanist? That I was going to turn him into a toad? (Which in retrospect might have been considered “trading up” as I have never met a manipulative toad!). So even his “confession” had so many omissions as to render it unbelievable.

That illustrates very clearly the problem with lying. He was very paranoid for the last few months he was here. To the point I contacted his family to find out if he had a history of mental illness or something.

They indicated he didn’t. Looking back I expect the longer he strung me along the more worried he would have become that I would find out so his behaviour changed very gradually. And then hit the fan because we were due to visit his family that spring and he knew at that point he would be exposed.

Another point to mention is that whatever reason you consider lying to another person for, it’s always setting you up as responsible for the outcome and dehumanising your peers. A very lonely position to end up in. But an inevitable one when manipulation of another person or people in general, is legitised by the liar.

My example is sort of anecdotal – but the pattern of how “what goes around comes around” and how the deception may have begun as him lying to himself. Then lying by ommission to me. Then lying outright to me. But ended up with him lying to his whole family…and now being trapped by his own lies into living a lie. Two years on still seeking vindication from me to patch up his unstable mindset.

He does claim he lied for all kinds of reasons including undiagnosed mental illnesses. Unfortunately, once someone’s begun to lie like that, their reasoning doesn’t sound plausible.

So my advice would be, don’t lie! There isn’t such thing as a white lie. These things always come back around. Any form of deception is a form of manipulation and is by definition, harmful.

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