Tag Archive | death

How Energy Healing & Reiki can be used to assist those who are terminally ill

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We tend to think of healing as a single level but relaxation, the reduction of stress, assistance in sleep and pain management can be helpful in those to are about to make the transition.

It also provides a powerful way to connect – and creates a relaxed environment in which to talk about things the dying person might feel unable to with others or in more clinical settings. That’s not to say it won’t be challenging! But it can be an opportunity to share love as a family that is unique to our regular experiences.

My dad died of cancer last year. An inoperable brain tumour; and being able to provide him with the benefits of Reiki and my counselling/psychoanalysis experience…and natural forms of treatment, was intensely beneficial for us both. Being able to offer support and guidance in a situation that seems otherwise may seem bleak is an opportunity to reclaim the sacred aspects of this unique time. An opportunity beneficial (potentially) to all involved.

Natural Healing techniques can help relieve symptoms; we may benefit from healing on a spiritual and emotional level. Knowing you’re terminally ill can make people depressed – it’s rather a monumental time and rather monumental news. And it’s not unusual to experience shock and the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining), when we hear the word “terminal”. But the shock part passes and we have to find a way to live with death. Something our life experience rarely prepares us for; it can make people feel unable to discuss the nitty gritty too – how death happens biologically. What to expect. What is a death rattle? Why do people who are dying usually go into a coma?

We can find these things out. And understanding the physical process can be reassuring. But creating an environment in which people feel they can connect and share in what is a very intimate experience…that’s the part no one teaches us! And I believe Reiki and sharing energy healing can be an excellent starting point for opening up and sharing our experiences and ideas together.

Death is a natural part of our lives – but we do tend to think of it as something that happens in a clinical setting with drips and medical staff…and ends with an anonymous phone call from a random doctor at 3am. We’ve stopped seeing it as being part of the cycle of life – and started to see aging and mortality as negative and to be avoided at all costs!

We are very distanced from our mortality in the modern world and this is emphasised in many ways by modern medicine…and probably also the fact many of us aren’t religious these days; also there is a way that even in some religions death is considered an inappropriate topic for discussion – or it’s discussed only in coded terms. The afterlife being focused on rather than death itself and the biological process of death.

Something important is lost in this I feel. Think back 100 or 150 years, people were used to seeing death first hand from an early age. Their family members usually died at home and often with the same treatments as end of life care provided now…counsellors instead of priests – but with morphine to control symptoms of the final days and hours.

If we saw this in our homes from a young age, we would undoubtedly understand death in a very different way. And while we consider such close encounters with the dying potentially depressing (tragic, unbelievable, despair inspiring) when they happen in the real world today, they don’t have to be. This modern perspective is rather new and our past understanding of the process can teach us a lot.

Death can be seen as part of a natural transition. The physical death of the body here marking its rebirth into the next world. A sacred experience when we see it from this perspective and allow ourselves to overcome our fears and resistance and to see…it may be messy or strange to us…so is the birth of babies! But we don’t have a problem seeing that as sacred. Death comes to all and yet we can go through most of our lives trying to remain “uninvolved”. I feel this is not only to our detriment but also to the detriment of those who are dying. And one day, that will apply to each of us.

Don’t be depressed…you will die one day; you will live on many others!

My dad received home hospice care during his transition and it opened my eyes in many ways to the very personal experience the dying person has. And how modern attitudes can be isolating and prevent a natural transition being experienced in a natural way by everyone involved.

There are some great books (especially those by Felicity Warner) about Soul Midwifery. And the Pagan Book of Living and Dying by Starhawk that offer some practical and philosophical ideas that can draw people together if things are experienced openly and this final journey considered something we take together and acknowledge for the sacred time it is.

I’m all for using Reiki as a complimentary therapy to assist in achieving a good/peaceful passing.

As I said, not all healing takes place on a physical level. The mental, spiritual and emotional benefits can be incredibly powerful for anyone involved – the person who is dying, the family and friends – Energy Healing can provide a way to share in the journey that can be powerfully healing for everyone.

XX ALM (Mayastar)

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The Best Day…dedicated to my dad | Brain Cancer Awareness

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The cover that proves…yes…#highfunctioningautism doesn’t mean you don’t have emotions!

https://youtu.be/utF4-JJiRdc

Song begins at about 6 mins 30…intro poss not a good idea b/c I start crying b4 I finish it! But the 2nd take which runs straight afterwards, was ok.

Not sure about the recording…sang in my natural voicd but sound a bit off key in places and on my bluetooth speaker the backing track sounds too loud for my voice! But it is just me with a speaker playing the backing track and singing at the camera with no edit.

Song is #thebestday by #taylorswift on #asmr #whisperingwitch channel (info on that is in the info in the dropdown below the video)…& I go on to explain why I was moved to tears first time round!

Dedicated to my dad ♡ who died in September. Photo is of me with dad…who wanted me to promo cancer awareness and using #energyhealing (which I teach online through http://www.mayastar.net) and #reiki to assist transition and symptoms even in terminal cases or while someone is in the “active phase of dying).

It can he used to help relax, reduce symptoms in some cases and help smooth the emotional journey…for the patient and those around them if they are receptive. It also helps loved ones to feel they are able to do something to help and that can be important later to reflect on.

At the time this photo was taken dad had only a few months to live. As you can see…he didn’t look like he was dying. Didn’t actually look like he was 67 either! But at this stage he was on #chemo. He had a numb area on his face and gradually that spread. His death came quicker than expected (the younger you are the faster cells replace and the faster some types of tumour can grow).

Does Atypical Empathy Dispose One to Violence, Cruelty or Impulsivity? | Narcissism | Autism | Consciousness | Violence | Psychology | Philosophy | Wise Women | Witches | Hikikomori | Hermits | Mystics

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Bathtime blogging – continued pondering on the difference between ego based personalities and non-ego based…

It’s a curiosity to me that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorders…such as sociopathy and psychopathy, are described as of higher than average intelligence – as am I, as a higher functioning autistic. However, I find the explanation proposed as the root their tendency of narcissistic personality types to abusive or selfish behaviours doesn’t sit well with me.

It is proposed to be rooted in a physiological difference in the narcissistic brain which means their higher intellect usually comes with a deficiency in socialisation and that this is specifically expressed as a lack of empathy.

Why do I find this such an insufficient explanation? Because I am autistic. Specifically, I am Aspergers. My IQ is high. My need for social feedback is low and always has been. So why am I not a psychopath?

Autism is often undiagnosed in women because typically they learn to “fake it” better than men. Those are all sweeping generalisations of course but for the purpose of pondering are hopefully sufficient.

This apparent justification of a tendency to cruelty or violence due to a lack of the normal mechanism of empathy doesn’t make sense to me. It really doesn’t. If that was the underlying cause, autism would increase your risk of being psychopathic. But it doesn’t.

Also, after some self analysis, I can confirm that I do have empathy. But I think maybe I learnt it via more intellectual process than neurotypicals do.
I have never had a tendency to violence. I have always had very high principles and my family actually considered me an “authority” on moral issues from a very young age. I can work things out in a dispassionate way even while experiencing the emotions…somehow I experience them from a position of observation. The chances of me doing something impulsive or without self awareness are so remote as to be pretty much impossible for someone like me. So reacting to aggression with aggression doesn’t happen. It is a puzzle to me that some psychopaths can’t do this. And I think it’s rooted in emotional intelligence. It’s the point at which the autistic and the narcissist part ways.

I suppose my reputation as an “ice queen” comes from that seeming impassive view point. It could very look like I have no emotional reaction to emotional situations. Like there is a disconnect. But that’s only how it looks. I know how it feels and can describe it. That trademark autistic “blankness” doesn’t mean I have no empathy or no emotions…but it does mean I am less likely to act out or react impulsively.

It does mean by nature I am a bit of a shut in…a natural hermit. Some Hikikomori are high functioning autistics as well.

The tendency to emotional self reliance seems offensive to some people. But there have always been hermits. “Troubled geniuses”. In the past they were considered the spinsters, midwives, witch doctors, healers…they were sort of revered and feared.  But considered an important part of the human “tribe’; often as a bridge between the world and the metaphysical realith. We even consider witches to typically and traditionally be of this type. Same with mystics. In fact, I am so “normal” as the modern day hermit, I am nocturnal as well – something that was always attributed to people like me historically! Shamans, wild men, wise women, healers, counsellors…I decend “spiritually” from a long line of people who filled a similar place in society.

I tried to explain this to someone once…that my mind works in such an abstract way, that if I wanted to I could reason myself out of existence. That’s what hyper rationale is. It can sometimes look from the outside like people with autism act irrationally or think irrationally…in fact it’s the exact opposite and it can be a problem. Staying grounded is something I have to do consciously. I have to make normal stuff routine otherwise I might reason myself out of doing the things I need to do in order to only do things that use my brain!

I think most people with high functioning autism will naturally develop their own strategies for these things. I can’t spend my life studying and meditating but failing to eat or exercise or put the trash out. But my motivation for doing those things is probably very different to someone who is neurotypical. If I do my accounts properly and organise things properly, it means I don’t have to waste time thinking about things I think are mundane…things that seem “off my radar” in fact!

Anyway. Simply put, my mind works differently – but it’s not a disability to me – it’s more like an extra ability. My life is the way I like it. Those who know me understand me. Those who don’t are off my radar. Those who underestimate me or make assumptions about me tend to find me disturbing to be around!

But why would the increased intelligence, difference in empathy and social needs in Autism and Narcissism that are apparently similar, result in such different personality types?

All I can think is that the Narcissist perpetuates an immature emotional connection to their ego consciousness; they don’t mature emotionally the same way as others.

The Autistic doesn’t either. They seem to either move past it or never have it.

For my own part,  I have never rebelled…I never had tantrums…I never (even as a very small child) saw others as authority figures. The crazy independence was hard for my parents to deal with because it simply wasn’t possible to tell me what to do. Not because I was naughty…but because I really couldn’t be “corrected”.

When I think back, I think managing me would have been easier if they had approached me the way you approach training a dog! Because being told what to do or doing things without a reason or because the consequence was being told off weren’t deterrents to me!

I think Narcissistic personality types may seem to act similarly at times, but their motivation is so far alien to me, I don’t understand why they would be violent. It seems utterly nonsensical to me.

This has led me to conclude that perhaps the autistic spectrum and the narcissistic spectrum reflect the two sides of everyone’s mind. My autism puts me at one extreme…a psychopath is at the other end. I think maybe the less autistic you are, the more narcissistic you are. And there is a range we consider “normal” somewhere between the two.

More pondering required I think!

Anna Louise May FB

Mayastar Academy Online Natural Healing & Spiritual Development Courses

Maya Magickal Spells & Metaphysical Solutions

Can a Narcissistic Mind Evolve a Conscience through Intellectualised Re-Framing of Life Experiences? | Consciousness | Narcissism | Higher Faculties | Love | Forgiveness | Judgement | Autism

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Bathtime Blogging…I am pondering a number of things at the moment. It began after my dad died…having aspergers seemed to allow me subjective and objective experience of his illness, his death, my own grief and the various ways of expressing grief that came to people around me that set me pondering…

Can a Narcissistic Mind Evolve a Conscience through Intellectualised Re-Framing of Life Experiences?

I don’t think anybody is better at life than others. All people are individual. Their potential is variable. So I don’t make observations to judge in any way, but literally as an observation. My asper brain intellectualises things and looks at the logic as if it’s a puzzle with a solution and not just a puzzle. So in articulating my considerations, I hope that they may set you pondering too!

The beginning of this train of thought was really initiated as I contemplated the different way in which I experience empathy as an Aspergirl compared to the experience of those around me. In the back of my mind was a concern that maybe I wouldn’t experience things “properly”.

When someone dies of cancer you get a warning. You take a journey with them. My dad had a very fast growing brain tumour. He lived 5 months after diagnosis. And that was WITH chemo slowing the tumour. The tumour was inoperable. It was the type that would have spread even if it could be slowed with radiotherapy and chemo. But even a non malignant brain tumour is fatal if it’s inoperable. So there was a journey of weeks for the diagnosis and then months of treatment. I am sure dad would have made the same decision about the chemo etc even if they had known it would only give him months…months instead of weeks. But even with a warning,  these things feel like they happen too quickly.

My dad had home hospice care and I saw him every day throughout. That was a good thing. I didn’t realise my mind was learning to accept the inevitable…I even wondered if my mind, specifically because of my autism, was able to accept it more easily because I couldn’t take any of it personally. And that’s where my questions began…would I experience death with my form of atypical empathy or was I at risk of being TOO rational.

I also considered perhaps my spiritual beliefs and the fact I could give healing to someone who was dying (Reiki and Violet Flame – both of which I teach through Mayastar). Did that give me a sense of being able to help someone to die peacefully, rather than react as if situation was all wrong and death was unnatural?

I continued to mull these things over. Looking at different personality types and considering their limitations, experiences and unique qualities.

I came away from this with the understanding that we all have a level of higher function (the ability to be objective and self aware), and we all have an ego. And both of these are present at different levels in different people…and they change over time. But how much can they change?

The ego doesn’t have the capacity for objectivity or self awareness. The ego really is the inner narcissist. It doesn’t develop emotionally beyond childish fears and tantrums. It demands external validation. And I think in people where one or other (subjective or objective mind) is dominant, they are “atypical”. Most people experience both to a degree and most people consciously continue to strive for a more objective understanding of their experiences as life goes on.

I think this shows up increasingly as people age. If they don’t move past their ego, they tend towards bitter. Sometimes almost paranoid. But generally they become antisocial as time goes on. In people we consider well adjusted, they balance this tendency to selfishness with an increased capacity for objective understanding – whether they pursue this consciously or it happens naturally probably depends on how balanced they were to begin with. These people seem to “mellow with age” and they are less likely to take on other people’s issues as personal or to consider life events as being “bad” or “wrong”. The exact opposite of the ego which takes everything personally.

Now, my autism may mean if anything I have a tendency to over rationalise – to the extent that some people find me kind of weird. Sometimes presenting a kind of blank slate. Often asking questions that some find intrusive. People who lie or who have a tend towards a narcissistic personality often take a dislike to people like me because we don’t provide them with the external validation or feedback they need. And we very well may ask them outright why their behaviour is as it is and they very well may not have the answers!

I don’t think you have to be autistic to run into this. Those people who persist in ego consciousness seem to “clash” with people a lot! They seem to ostracise themselves. Although I find this observation interesting, I find it hard to imagine how hard getting by in life must be if you are dependent on others to reinforce your sense of self…all the while feeling that you are entitled to that kind of attention. It’s almost like an addiction and I think the capacity of people whose ego is dominant (not to the extent of being classifiable as a narcissist but just more ego centred than the average person) must live on their nerves. Their capacity for experience of higher emotions like love; their capacity to forgive; their capacity for altruism; their capacity for feeling ok with themselves in many ways, is compromised. Their fear of not being accepted or of being judged is heightened. They may seem selfish and rude and arrogant…but scratch the surface and you find it’s all surface! The ego’s reasoned response to a question like “why do you feel a need to be rude to other people” is either going to begin “because they….” or “because I do”.

It’s led me to consider…without any answer…is it possible for a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist (all ego based personalities), to evolve beyond that selfish view point? To overcome the illusion of their own importance the ego insists upon? To develop a level of emotional maturity even without the normal capacity for empathy? Is it possible for a serial killer (as an extreme example), to feel true remorse? Genuinely and not just theoretically? (And I mean remorse…not regret!) Is it possible for extreme narcissistic personalities to learn to feel genuine remorse by reframing life experiences as an entirely intellectual process?

I really don’t know. But if you observe the reaction of people to serious life events…you can see they tend to swing between ego and higher function and find some balance. It’s normal for people to go through phases as they balance out.

I know there are people close to me who want to avenge me for things that have happened to me in the recent and distant past. They don’t think I should forgive. And sometimes I find it hard to explain…I haven’t forgiven in any real sense. Meaning, I haven’t set out to. But naturally over time have ceased to consider some things less and less important, until I naturally have “evolved” to a state of forgiveness. I think most people probably do this.

I personally can’t see the point of holding grudges against people I think are unworthy of them because I outgrew my connection to that person. They stayed as they were and I moved on. For me to blame them or be annoyed would be like being angry with a puppy for peeing on the new rug. It’s a puppy. I can’t reason with it “on a level”. And no matter how annoyed I am, it won’t make the puppy become human, apologise, clean the carpet and be like me. We can’t carry grudges or hold onto anger just because other people aren’t the same as us. Well, most of us would agree on that. The more narcissistic types probably wouldn’t. It’s very immature but the ego does think other people should be like we are otherwise any problems are their fault and they cause our problems. It sounds o absurd written down that I think evwn a narcissist would deny that train of thought. But their behaviour betrays them!

People who have caused me harm deliberately…abusive people and violent people; and one I would classify as a narcissist but could equally have a serious and untreated mood disorder. In fact the person in question claimed to have an undiagnosed mood disorder. But I think that was to justify their erratic behaviour or maybe even just to make themselves seem important! In fact their anger, compulsive lying and paranoia was classic for a narcissistic personality type and not for someone with clinical depression or bipolar disorder! They also claimed to be seeing a psychotherapist about their rage…and that was a verifiable lie. You can tell if a narcissist is lying by whether they are speaking or not!

Anyway, that is only my observation. I can’t diagnose those things and whatever their problem was, there’s nothing I can do about it and I wouldn’t be involved with someone like them. But because of their extremely strange and malicious behaviour, I do have to conclude that there’s no way I can take their issues personally; they have a problem. I can see how some people would find it hard not to take another person’s issues personally. Especially given the personal nature of some of the behaviour. So I can see that from the outside it looks so bad to other people that some feel there should be some kind of justice meted out…

I believe it is though. I don’t believe I need to be judge, jury or executioner for someone whose own personality is the bane of their existence. Karma is a component…but suffering from their own personality is also a punishment to them. They are their own worst enemies in many ways. Their lives are significantly diminished because of the way they think.

It may help that I can use magick in such situations to prevent being held back from sorting myself out by negative thoughts, intentions or actions. It’s such a common situation for the more emotionally mature that reversal spells form a very large part my ritual work for others (www.mayamagickal.net). I do consider that on a spiritual level, the destructive tendencies and negative intentions are akin to a intentional psychic attack and magick is a way to prevent you being caught up and unable to move forward. The immaturity of the ego leaves some volatile personality types with a kind of “emotional incontinence” that, I believe, causes harm and hindrance to victims of abusive relationships on an energetic level.

But after weighing up my personal experience and observations, the question remains after all my pondering: Can a narcissist learn to feel through an intellectualised process?

Perhaps my autism gives me a simplistic view and I am really not “getting it” – but it does seem to me that technically it should be possible. We all have two sides…and most people change as they become older and more experienced. Perhaps a lot of choices have to be made and perhaps we need an ideal to grow towards. So perhaps the narcissist falls at the first hurdle by not having the capacity to entertain an ideal! But, I still think technically it’s possible because we all have narcissistic qualities…and usually we do outgrow them. I’ve yet to observe a narcissist develop a conscience…but I do think technically it’s possible. Just very unlikely!

So endeth my bathtime blog of the day! Xxx

Anna Louise May FB
Mayastar Academy Online Natural Healing & Spiritual Development Courses
Maya Magickal Spells & Initiations

If you really want to live…remember what you’d die for, and live for it! | Freedom | Death | Cancer | Reiki | & Love

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I love…days where my bathwater matches my swallow tattoo!

Designed by my sister and worn by all my family on T shirts & jewellery & ink by family & friends close to my dad. A united front…facing terminal cancer with him.

Despite the chemo & radiotherapy, the tumour grew so fast his symptoms progressed v quickly.

Dad had a bone cancer ten years ago; and though the brain tumour wasn’t related, dad had lived every day like it was a gift.

And I think this summer, he kind of taught us all to do the same. We all miss him…but if there’s a silver lining, facing the journey into terminal illness…it was challenging of course…painful…but we will all remember the good stuff.

In the words of Mike Skinner of The Streets “You left me behind to remind me of you” ❤

He slipped into a coma and died peacefully at home and we were there with him to care for him right to the end. I spent the summer dancing in his garden when he was getting weaker…so we had quite a laugh (including our obligatory 'swallow spotting'…something me and dad always did).

If you really want to live…remember what you'd die for, and live for it!

The swallow tatt is has been adopted by a lot of cancer patients – lifer patients like dad as well as survivors as a symbol of freedom…we all have our demons and being able to live without fear of them is when we truly know what freedom is.

I have a number of students that face similar situations…and they learn Reiki from me. "Healing" someone who is dying? Yes. It's entirely appropriate. Reiki provides healing on many levels and may help with symptoms and mood. Death is a natural process…but it's one we tend to detach from these days. Considering it something that happens anonymously in a clinical setting and something that doesn't involve us. But once it was something we would have experienced personally at a younger age and caring for someone you love right to the end is natural. You don't stop washing them or making them comfortable because you think "this one's a goner". No…you administrator care and support right to the end because you love them way beyond life! And sharing Reiki or healing with someone who is dying…even in those last days…it's a natural thing to do ❤

(Reiki information on www.mayastar.net/reikicourses.htm plus articles on energy healing in general)

❤ Anna Louise May (Maya) | Mystic, Muse & Artist

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Birthdays | Death Days | Fun Days | Tattoo Days

14th September 2015 (Yay! It’s my birthday!) – Sorry for the radio silence!  I’ve taken a few days off -I’m very lucky my work allows flexibility – normal scheduling has been resumed and all administration stuff is up to date…so things are kind of back to normal…and it’s my birthday!  So I’ll be getting to bed early in moment, so that my mum and sister can take me to lunch tomorrow at a reasonable hour!…

I’m sad to say, my dad passed away earlier this month.  The chemo and radiotherapy did slow the tumour’s development to an extent but unfortunately, it was growing so quickly that after he finished the treatment, he was having symptoms that could have  either been from the chemo or from the tumour.  And by the time the scan result came back, we already knew what the situation was.  But it had continued to develop.  He did have a wonderful death (if such a thing is possible); we were all with him throughout.  And ultimately he got sleepier and sleepier, went into a coma and then died peacefully.  As he was making the transition we all had the opportunity to spend time with him – talking, praying, singing and telling him what we were doing and stuff. His consciousness came and went more and more towards the end but they were very precious times.  If it’s possible to conceive, he did have a beautiful death.  At home, with his family and ‘naturally’ with just a bit of morphine as he had a headache towards the end.  Though I think it was from dehydration (which is usually a natural part of someone ‘fading out’ – they naturally lose their appetite and thirst as the end is coming close so they can have some cramps and things from that;morphine takes care of it and ensures they’re comfortable – though possibly a bit high!).  We had discussed the options as a family and we all agreed ‘home hospice’ was something we would not only be able to cope with but would consider the best option and that we would want to be there taking care of dad to the end.

I have to say, even with a terminal cancer, you actually have no idea of when the person will die or exactly what the mechanism of death will be.  You know it will kill them but you don’t know how or when.  Which isn’t unlike life for the rest of us…we all know we will die but we don’t know when or how!  Somehow, it’s not something people talk about or consider much.  You have to deal with it if someone you are close to is dying – are you going to ‘man up’ and face their mortality and your own by taking the journey with them?  I think with the support of friends and family, and the person who is dying of course, the experience can be something truly sacred.  I’m so pleased things went the way they did. It happened more quickly than we had expected…but dad wasn’t incapacitated until perhaps a week or so before he died.  He was gradually getting weaker – but I’m glad there wasn’t a situation like if he’d had a massive seizure and had to be put into hospital and then into a hospice etc.

So it’s a sad…but in a way, we’re all kind of on a high and celebrating his life and also the journey we took with him through the diagnosis, treatment and finally his death. I love him so much.  I can’t wait to see him again!  I think the first thing my dad will say when I meet him again is, “you were singing ‘Substitute’ out of key” – I was singing along to his music and we both love The Who! 

My sister and I got matching tattoos – in the style that dad had wanted one (but hadn’t been allowed due to chemo!), so my sister had put the design on T shirts for everyone.  And a few days after he died, me and my sister went to have matching swallow tattoos.  Because, one swallow doesn’t make a summer, but there’s more than one of us!  And it’s been a wonderful year in all kinds of unexpected ways.

So…that’s kind of the main update. It’s been an intense time and there’s been a lot of laughter and a lot of tears.  And we’ve kind of adopted as a curiously relevant ‘anthem’ of the year, the song I was learning on the harp – “Tonight You Belong to Me” (Patience & Prudence) – I’ll put a YouTube link below.  Some of you may recognise it from American Horror Story!  

“I know you belong to somebody new

But tonight, you belong to me

Although, we’re apart

You’re a part of my heart

And tonight, you belong to me

Way down by the stream

How sweet it will seem

Once more just to dream in the moonlight

My honey, I know with the dawn

That you will be gone

But tonight you belong to me”

https://youtu.be/W4dqfrzJPbc