Tag Archive | autoharp

ASMR General Upd8…family, harp, guitars…and whatever happened to my ex (Wolf)? Narcissistic Personality Disorder? (Answers on a postcard!)

https://youtu.be/Mr5if-kYhnA

Today’s ASMR Whispering Witch Nocturnal Chat…a general catch up (in 4 parts).

A bit about my dad, his cancer and death, my harp (a little bit of singing)…and a general catch up on “Whatever Happened to my Fiancé?” (Answers on a postcard!)

The latter I have recorded several times. Posting up for the sake of continuity & so when I mention I have stuff to sort out…or refer to the mess that was left in 2014, you have an idea of what I am referring to. In a nutshell, Wolf ripped me off. He claims to be mentally ill. Though I have no way to validate that. My own psychology & psychotherapeutic studies would lead me to guess he has narcissistic personality disorder, is delusional and paranoid…perhaps has a serious mental illness. But that is only my personal point of view.

He is certainly a pathological liar, in my experience and by his own admission. As soon as he finished lying to me, he was lying to his family.

The video may give you clues…many red flags you would associate with NPD.

So tonight’s ASMR vlog is a general catch up…with some chat about how I was done up!

I haven’t had time to delete him from my personal FB historical pages & albums as yet. But he is ancient history to me and we certainly won’t remain in touch!

He left two years ago having lied to me for 14 months. Sometimes being aspie really helps you see the facts for what they are.

This only come up recently due to his attempt to contact me. I think perhaps he hoped some kind of reconciliation was possible. If he harboured any hope in that regard I can only say it was inappropriate in the circumstances at the least.

It’s easy to talk about it now, but his deception damn near derailed my life professionally and personally for a while. So I feel strongly about it right now and would definitely advise others to listen to their intuition. If you’re saving mobiles as evidence “just in case”, something is definitely wrong!

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AnnaLouiseMay YouTube Channel | Vlogs, Blogs, Streams of Consciousness | ASMR | Aspergirl | Magick | New Age | Energy Healing | Natural Beauty | Health & Happiness

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Fancy picsart selfie – epic Bathtime!

Green moodlights & Lush Guardian of the Forest BathBomb. Listening to Lana Del Rey. Smell v vanilla (American Cream conditioner).

Drinking greendrink with apple cider vinegar & maplesyrup.

My pookie (aka Elvis) out tonight doing TeddyBoy stuff. I’m in, and taking my routine at a decadent pace!

I have mentioned before, sometimes I have real problems editing my blogs. Apparently this is not uncommon with Higher Functioning Autism…my brain jumps from idea to idea…and touch typing means most blogs I intend as articles end up more of a stream of consciousness. Covering too many topics and ending up a bit of mess! Some are fine. But some I am not at all pleased with. So, as far as blogging goes, I’m still “developing my style”.

My blogs are intended to be informal rather than scientific articles. Just blogs about things that interest me. General updates in my personal life. Ponderings on the philosophy of magick (as a path to Self-Realisation) and psychology.

Many blogs are inspired by questions from students and clients of Maya Magickal Spells & Personalised Initiation Programmes and Mayastar Academy Online Natural Energy Healing & Spiritual Development Courses – but at the same time, I include articles about my hobbies…so it is a bit varied. A blog about how I get “grunge hair” without using heat or styling products; a review of a mineral powder foundation; how I mix my henna for an easier rinse etc. It’s intended to personal…but also informative. I think in the main it appeals to peoole who are a bit like me and share my interests or hobbies.

So I hope my blog is useful and people enjoy it. But I do see there needs to be some change with my editing failure. Bear with me – I’m sure I will strike a balance at some point!

However, since I uploaded my first YouTube video at Christmas (because my nephew pressed record when I tried to get a nice family photo)…I have been wondering if maybe vlogging could be more suitable for some of my blogs. Possibly even make some things more accessible.

At first I thought I wouldn’t have the confidence to be able to do it. So, I have mulled it over a lot. Considering how I could approach it. What would feel right. And how it might be received.

My aspergers also means I sometimes don’t speak…or I speak quietly. And that was a concern – would vlogging mean the stream of consciousness style was a problem with videos too? Would I feel it was too personal or intrusive as well.

I have been working with ASMR quiet speaking in my magickal work for a long time. I even choreographed some silent rituals or rituals that only have chants. And it’s worked very well for me. And because I am nocturnal I find by nature, I tend to whisper a lot as a way of naturally winding down at bedtime after my meditation work is finished.

So it’s that habit that gave me the idea for the format I would like to work with.

I really have no idea if it would be interesting to other people. I know I’m not the only ASMR fan out there but I am not planning random brushing sounds or hypnotic role play style vids. My plan was to use part of my day to record a “chat”. And to keep it varied and informative and informal. Relaxing and with relaxing background sounds etc.

I’m intending the format to work for me and viewers. But the channel to be a new way to share information that I haven’t tried before. It may even work well as a way to talk about subjects I intend to blog about later – a way to help me to avoid my stream of consciousness blog problem!

I know trolling on YouTube can be pretty bad…but definitely trolls a minority. Just a small minority with a big mouth! So I may get some negative feedback. That isn’t a problem. Constructive criticism is useful.
.destructive criticism is something I ignore. And the only way to see if it works will be to bite the bullet and try it!

I tried a few sample recordings and realised the mic on my mobile is not sufficient…too much hiss which would be problem with the quiet speaking/whispering style. Though I will upload one from my phone because I would like to see the difference in quality with my (brand spanking new) camcorder!

It took a while to find one that has an audio input. But for the style I want to use, it’s going to be essential.

Also the camera I chose is small and has a built in stand. Which will help keep my vids informal. A bit of the vibe of a personal chat. Hoping if people like the style and the content, it will be a fantastically useful way to share info and ideas.

So…watch this space!

Anna Louise May (Maya) | Mystic Muse & Artist

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