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“Through Our Eyes: Living with Asperger’s” | Aspergirl | Magick | Mayastar | Meditation | Energy Healing

https://youtu.be/2TSlti5bioQ

I’ve blogged abt my aspergers…vlogged about my aspergers. And being able to use my High Functioning to do my work and do it in ways that a Neurotypical couldn’t, is a fulfilling experience. Living within my means when it comes to social connection, sensory stimulation (have to be more careful because those thing can trigger seizures – perhaps more now than when I was younger), and managing the additional anxiety (aspies make less oxytocin than neurotypicals – that means we don’t have the same way out of stress – most of us develop strategies for that through experience though so that’s something that’s become much easier with time for me).

But sometimes…one of the most depressing things to hear, is someone saying my brain wiring is a syndrome…is your eye colour a syndrome? Would you feel weird if people said you had been born with curly hair syndrome?

I’m sure you would. I feel the same when people see my autism as separate to me. Or they disregard or judge certain aspects while celebrating others. As if certain parts of me are not really connected. I don’t feel that way in myself…I think perhaps it reflects a limitation of the neurotypical mind that it can’t conceive mine as integrated!

People who know me know the challenges I have worked with – my total recall memory for example…great for learning but a nightmare if something bad happens and you remember it.

For me…the best thing that ever happened to me was my formal diagnosis – it meant I could research it and many more things made sense. Also, when you understand the physiological root of some tendencies it’s far easier to look for useful changes in behaviour or habit that will make life easier.

My routine is vital to my well being for reasons different to those a NT would cite. But if it means I eat healthy, exercise, don’t drink or smoke, meditate regularly etc. These are habits that would probably benefit a lot of people!

My habit of being nocturnal also helps a great deal but it works well for me. Magick (the actual process of Self Realisation – not the card game and not conjuring!), was my special interest from an early age and now that’s a huge advantage in my work (teaching online courses for energy healing, spiritual development & meditation – and doing ritual work to help people).

If it wasn’t for the extraordinary advantages that come as part of my autism, I wouldn’t have the extraordinary life I have now.

So I absolutely in no way shape or form would trade myself as I am for a more “ordinary” version ♡

ALM (Maya)

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ASMR Aspergirl Whispering Witch Nocturnal Chat YouTube Channel | Lightworker | Mayastar Academy | Maya Magickal Spells & Personalised Initiation Programmes

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New YouTube Channel:

www.youtube.annalouisemay.net

ASMR/Quiet Talking bedroom chitchat from the Whispering Witch!

I am an Aspergirl, Blogger, Lightworker & Modern Mystic.

My Aspergers (a type of high functioning autism) means I’m more comfortable using the ASMR “whispered conversation” method. The mutual increased focus this initiates allows for a more intimate communication & natural connection.

My intention is to provide a unique, relaxed & informal style for viewers.

If you are new to ASMR pls give it a chance…at first it may seem odd but it’s a wonderful method of having a heart to heart “vibe”. I also recommend headphones.

I teach online energy healing, meditation & spiritual development courses, so I plan to cover related subjects as well as hobbies, reviews & personal updates.

I hope you will enjoy!

Xxx

ALM (Maya)

http://www.mayastar.net
http//www.mayamagickal.net
http://www.annalouisemay.net FB
http://www.wordpress.annalouisemay.net
http://www.youtube.annalouisemay.net

@annalouisemay on Tumblr, Flickr, Blogger, WordPress, G+, Instagram & Twitter

Watch “Intro ASMR Whispering Witch Nocturnal Chat | TLE, Aspergers, Autism, Magick, Spells, Relaxation” on YouTube

https://youtu.be/dNPMSkX5q9I

PLEASE wear headphones! (straining to hear a computer speaker isn’t relaxing!)

A proper introduction to my channel…what inspired me…how I hope it will work…etc. Please forgive the bumpy beginning of the vid while I messed with the lighting etc! XX

I have Aspergers (a type of high functioning autism) means I’m more comfortable using ASMR “whispered conversation”. The mutual increased focus this initiates allows a more intimate communication & natural connection. My intention is to use whispered conversation to provide a unique & informal style that will be relaxing to watch, pleasant to hear & with subjects accessible to viewers.

I plan to upload various vids; some may be general or personal updates; others may be more informative, based around my spiritual & magickal work;  general chats & reviews. Also, ‘streams of consciousness’…with no fixed ‘subject’.

I keep a blog and do find editing it a problem; I have too many thoughts and my edits tend to get longer not shorter! I am hoping making vids will allow me to address some of the blog ideas I have that are responses questions from people.

My nifty little camera will allow me to make a 15 minute video (with good sound!) and upload it to YouTube from my bedroom…very handy and should help with covering more topics or answering more specific questions…as well as regular chit chat vids.  I really want to keep the content variable, but with a theme that I’m comfortable working in!

Please be aware, I have photosensitive epilepsy and when it gets late and I’m winding down, sometimes this affects me so I tend to wear sunglasses indoors. I’m aware this looks kind of weird! But it means I don’t need meds to control seizures so, I don’t mind wearing sunglasses!

NOTE: Although Whispering is used in ASMR, I use this technique because it is more comfortable for my autism & is a natural part of my night when I’m winding down for bed!

Does Atypical Empathy Dispose One to Violence, Cruelty or Impulsivity? | Narcissism | Autism | Consciousness | Violence | Psychology | Philosophy | Wise Women | Witches | Hikikomori | Hermits | Mystics

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Bathtime blogging – continued pondering on the difference between ego based personalities and non-ego based…

It’s a curiosity to me that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorders…such as sociopathy and psychopathy, are described as of higher than average intelligence – as am I, as a higher functioning autistic. However, I find the explanation proposed as the root their tendency of narcissistic personality types to abusive or selfish behaviours doesn’t sit well with me.

It is proposed to be rooted in a physiological difference in the narcissistic brain which means their higher intellect usually comes with a deficiency in socialisation and that this is specifically expressed as a lack of empathy.

Why do I find this such an insufficient explanation? Because I am autistic. Specifically, I am Aspergers. My IQ is high. My need for social feedback is low and always has been. So why am I not a psychopath?

Autism is often undiagnosed in women because typically they learn to “fake it” better than men. Those are all sweeping generalisations of course but for the purpose of pondering are hopefully sufficient.

This apparent justification of a tendency to cruelty or violence due to a lack of the normal mechanism of empathy doesn’t make sense to me. It really doesn’t. If that was the underlying cause, autism would increase your risk of being psychopathic. But it doesn’t.

Also, after some self analysis, I can confirm that I do have empathy. But I think maybe I learnt it via more intellectual process than neurotypicals do.
I have never had a tendency to violence. I have always had very high principles and my family actually considered me an “authority” on moral issues from a very young age. I can work things out in a dispassionate way even while experiencing the emotions…somehow I experience them from a position of observation. The chances of me doing something impulsive or without self awareness are so remote as to be pretty much impossible for someone like me. So reacting to aggression with aggression doesn’t happen. It is a puzzle to me that some psychopaths can’t do this. And I think it’s rooted in emotional intelligence. It’s the point at which the autistic and the narcissist part ways.

I suppose my reputation as an “ice queen” comes from that seeming impassive view point. It could very look like I have no emotional reaction to emotional situations. Like there is a disconnect. But that’s only how it looks. I know how it feels and can describe it. That trademark autistic “blankness” doesn’t mean I have no empathy or no emotions…but it does mean I am less likely to act out or react impulsively.

It does mean by nature I am a bit of a shut in…a natural hermit. Some Hikikomori are high functioning autistics as well.

The tendency to emotional self reliance seems offensive to some people. But there have always been hermits. “Troubled geniuses”. In the past they were considered the spinsters, midwives, witch doctors, healers…they were sort of revered and feared.  But considered an important part of the human “tribe’; often as a bridge between the world and the metaphysical realith. We even consider witches to typically and traditionally be of this type. Same with mystics. In fact, I am so “normal” as the modern day hermit, I am nocturnal as well – something that was always attributed to people like me historically! Shamans, wild men, wise women, healers, counsellors…I decend “spiritually” from a long line of people who filled a similar place in society.

I tried to explain this to someone once…that my mind works in such an abstract way, that if I wanted to I could reason myself out of existence. That’s what hyper rationale is. It can sometimes look from the outside like people with autism act irrationally or think irrationally…in fact it’s the exact opposite and it can be a problem. Staying grounded is something I have to do consciously. I have to make normal stuff routine otherwise I might reason myself out of doing the things I need to do in order to only do things that use my brain!

I think most people with high functioning autism will naturally develop their own strategies for these things. I can’t spend my life studying and meditating but failing to eat or exercise or put the trash out. But my motivation for doing those things is probably very different to someone who is neurotypical. If I do my accounts properly and organise things properly, it means I don’t have to waste time thinking about things I think are mundane…things that seem “off my radar” in fact!

Anyway. Simply put, my mind works differently – but it’s not a disability to me – it’s more like an extra ability. My life is the way I like it. Those who know me understand me. Those who don’t are off my radar. Those who underestimate me or make assumptions about me tend to find me disturbing to be around!

But why would the increased intelligence, difference in empathy and social needs in Autism and Narcissism that are apparently similar, result in such different personality types?

All I can think is that the Narcissist perpetuates an immature emotional connection to their ego consciousness; they don’t mature emotionally the same way as others.

The Autistic doesn’t either. They seem to either move past it or never have it.

For my own part,  I have never rebelled…I never had tantrums…I never (even as a very small child) saw others as authority figures. The crazy independence was hard for my parents to deal with because it simply wasn’t possible to tell me what to do. Not because I was naughty…but because I really couldn’t be “corrected”.

When I think back, I think managing me would have been easier if they had approached me the way you approach training a dog! Because being told what to do or doing things without a reason or because the consequence was being told off weren’t deterrents to me!

I think Narcissistic personality types may seem to act similarly at times, but their motivation is so far alien to me, I don’t understand why they would be violent. It seems utterly nonsensical to me.

This has led me to conclude that perhaps the autistic spectrum and the narcissistic spectrum reflect the two sides of everyone’s mind. My autism puts me at one extreme…a psychopath is at the other end. I think maybe the less autistic you are, the more narcissistic you are. And there is a range we consider “normal” somewhere between the two.

More pondering required I think!

Anna Louise May FB

Mayastar Academy Online Natural Healing & Spiritual Development Courses

Maya Magickal Spells & Metaphysical Solutions

Bathtime Blogging | Aspergers | Social Media | Spiritual Development | Mineral Makeup | Reiki Healing | Meditation | Spells | Mayastar Specials

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It’s me! #selfieoftheday showing Mineral Magic Mineral Powder (no concealer or anything…this is just the powder, appied with a kabuki brush over Creme de la Mer), eyebrows defined with wunderbrow & lush cosmetics strawberry bombshell tinted lipbalm. I am kind of testing the mineral magic. I don’t wear make up as a rule but when I do it is usually just powder, lipstain and a pair of sunglasses!

So I am wearing mineral magic when I sleep and over moisturiser, over serum, when exercising. Just doing as much as I can with it to see if it irritates around the eyes, dries the skin around my nose, causes spots etc. So far I absolutely love the stuff but am gonna continue my totally unscientific testing as I want to blog about it. I am sure I am not the only 42 year old woman who can’t be bothered with REAL makeup! So, along with my random blogs I think beauty tips and haircare is something that I consider enough to share with my followers.

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By the way, I know many people who follow me are current, previous or potential students & clients of www.mayastar.net and www.mayamagickal.net – but I know some follow my artwork too. Or are into similar things (henna, magick, ballet, dance, hiphop, corsetry, preraphaelite art, poetry, tightlacing, meditation – I think some  probably find a bit of a kindred spirit because of my autism – I’m aspergers which is a kind of high functioning autism – or maybe just like my style!), but I really do appreciate it!

On my various social networks I have 29000 followers at the moment and it seems amazing – and flattering in a way too. I’m not a natural when it comes to putting myself out there but because my work is online (teaching distance learning courses for spiritual development & self realisation mostly), it’s important for me to be as accessible as possible while keeping a balance.

I think my students and clients find it reassuring…they are able to get a “feel” for me as a person and my principles…and also my interests. I think that can help connect in a more personal way than I would be able to do in real life. Not because I am antisocial but more because my autism means I relate and communicate far more effectively through writing than through speaking. In most ways I am a natural hermit…but that’s a bonus in the work I do. I also think people feel more able to open up to me in a constructive way when it means they have to consider their words and articulate their thoughts and feelings in a way that encourages selfawareness far more than speaking does.

This can be an essential part of tailoring magickal work for people. I don’t advertise my magickal work as so much comes from recommendations…which is a good thing!  I don’t ask people to review my magickal work because it’s v personal. I am a psychotherapist and qualified in counselling which I think also helps…but I wouldn’t advertise that either. So most online reviews are for my teaching work. There are quite a few on www.linkedin.annalouisemay.net and some of www.maya.mayastar.net (FB) too…and quite a few testimonials on the http://www.mayastar.net testimonials page. But for people interested in attunement work, I think the articles on MS – especially www.mayastar.net/courseswork.htm, help people to understand what I do and whether it’s a good fit for them. Likewise, the articles on Maya Magickal that explain what I do and my experience etc, are helpful to people considering whether my work may assist them in their personal goals.

Social media does seem a strange addition…my blogs are not exactly themed and pretty much cover my hobbies and thoughts. But I do think it’s an added dimension to online presence that’s helpful in a way that’s evolved with my work 🙂

Obviously if you work for yourself, regardless of how vocational you consider that work, advertising, marketing and letting people know you exist is important. An example is, if you wanted a new credit card you would put it in google and find the best fit for you. Whereas my services may sometimes be searched for but more often are found by people who didn’t know this kind of energy work was available – so people more often find me when looking for something similar rather than looking for me.

Gosh…that was a looong blog. I hope it makes some sense. In a nutshell, thank you to those who follow me! I really appreciate it. X

I better sign off…bubblebath blogging and the water is getting chilly…and my Teddy Boy is due for dinner and some Studio Ghibli entertainment soon.

Xxxx

PS. New Special Offers for Mayastar Academy & Maya Magickal currently on www.mayastar.net/special.htm (including Chakra Healing Attunements, Kundalini Reiki, Pleiadian Encodings, Archangel Michael Protection Spell & the Shiva Nataraj Dance of Destruction Reversal Ritual)

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ALM (Maya) | Mayastar | Mixed Media Art | Pre-Raphaelite | Spiritual Teacher | Reiki Master | Bohemian

#ALM, #Mayastar & #InterSomnia on Pinterest | http://www.pinterest.com/ALM_Mayastar/alm-mayastar-academy-intersomnia/?s=3&m=twitter | #Aspergirl #Reiki #SpiritualTeacher #Hippie #PreRaphaelite #Bohemian

BubbleBath Blog | Love | Aspergers | Spells | Elvis | Pimps n’ Gangstas | Royalty | Narnia | Aslan | Lions | Wild Hearts | Free Souls | Pagan | God | Allegorical Christ | Inspiration

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A Bubblebath Blog…written on my phone while I soak and do my best pondering with my pampering!

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Regular followers of my feeds will know, me and my Teddy Boy spend every evening today. We are both self employed so we organise our schedules that way. We did eventually decide to not see each other Tues and Sat nights cos Sat I have a lot of Spell Work and Wednesday he has a v early start. But this week I have been seeing my sis, he had a funeral and is out with his friends tonight.

Yesterday he had a really long driving job and by the time he got home I was going to bed…so this week has been all over the place! But thoughtful as ever…he picked me up a toy lion on his travels! (He knows me too well eh!?)

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I am calling him Aslan as that was my first thought and I am a fan of the books…weirdly my sister and I were discussing them recently. And weirder…around Xmas he came over for a joke in a huggybear 70s pimp style really massive faux fur coat. And after I stopped laughing, he realised my aspergirl brain hadn’t got the joke as it was intended (some jokes are extra funny if you share them with someone with aspergers – we hear horses and we’re as likely to think unicorns, zebras, coconuts all at once, as we are to think horses!).

So when he asked why I was laughing…I said “erm…are we going to Narnia”, “you’re a 1950s transsexual”…”a pimp”…”a gangsta”…and various outlandish guesses which seemed to make it even funnier.

So as soon as I saw the lion, C. S. Lewis came to mind.

But I looked up the symbolism associated w/ lions. From the Sphinx to Richard The LionHeart”. On my mind also was the fact that leo is my rising sign and my dad was a leo. The fact that the lion is called the king of the jungle & everyone calls Spider Elvis who was aka The King.

It seemed a very meaningful list of associations somehow. But Aslan had been my first thought so I did some research…ok…I looked on Wikipedia! And did you know, Aslan isn’t just a made up name? It’s Turkish for lion.

Aslan in the Chronicles of Narnia is the allegorical Christ. I have always enjoyed them because of their more natural and almost pagan expression of Jesus in this way which is more in keeping with my personal beliefs.

My favourite quote comes from the Lion, the Witch & The Wardrobe, where Mister Beaver informs Peter that “of course he isn’t safe…but he is good”. I have a strong belief personally in the purity of true wildness…uncorrupted. It may imply “unsafe” to some but for me it definitely emphasises the natural, uncompromising nature. And I find that very inspirational. I believe people are wild at heart…that our apparent domestication is superficial in many ways. But that the soul is wild, beautiful and therefore “good” in it purity.

I am not a Christian myself…and ideas of heaven and hell remind me that if we choose to deny our true nature, we may become restricted and damaged in ways that don’t condemn us to a hellish eternity, but which make it harder for the soul to aspire to its connection with “God”. God is such a loaded word, I tend to refer to “it” as Mother Father God, The Oneness, The Wholeness or (more poetically) The Power That Moves the Universe.

My main work, through Mayastar and Maya Magickal is the expression of my intention to help people remember that connection to Wholeness…not through religion…but through personal practices that form part of their individual path.

So…in my world, even a soft toy lion can remind me of what I believe and inspire me to share it…hoping others may find inspiration too!

Xxx With blessings x
Maya

Mayastar Academy
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