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Can Magick or Spells Stop Someone Lying or Being Unfaithful? The Healing Potential of Reversal Spells


Another blog inspired by a customer enquiry regarding a situation where they are in an emotionally abusive relationship & are considering the magickal options available…
Taken as a direct quote from my response with names and some details removed for client confidentiality

“​It isn’t likely a spell would stop his actions – even if they are immoral it’s even worse karmically to use magick on another person without their permission. It would mean you were intending the same type of subterfuge or deception and karmically would be bad on you and wouldn’t necessarily work.

The best option magickally would be a reversal spell or the banishing/blessing Intensive which is made up of a series of 6 spells and could be tailored to your situation. Focused on turning YOUR situation around rather than his. It may mean he realises what he is doing and comes back. It may mean you both come to an understanding and can somehow move forward either living with it for a time or living separately but re establishing your friendship. 

The thing with magick is it isn’t safe to use to try to make anyone else to anything else. Love spells and healing spells without consent are the same magickally as curses. Just as his actions if looked at from that philosophy are no different to someone using black magick!

But the sooner deception stops – regardless of the outcome – the sooner things will be sorted out. Not necessarily to your design or his but to the way they are best at the present time. At the moment you are clearly distressed and a lot of this is your sense of powerlessness and the fact you kind of know the situation you are in but can’t see a way out that won’t negatively affect you. 

Magick can do much to break the impasse but you will need to prepare as much as you can for your future not panning out as you intended. It already isn’t. And I can promise it will get better – but I am sure there will be times it won’t feel that way. 

Maintaining your perspective will be hard but it will be easier because you’re focusing on creating change rather than focusing on past experiences in an attempt to understand the present. This in itself can be emotionally and mentally exhausting.

Acknowledging that now has become so bad that there must be change is not easy but is important. A stagnant “now” is taking you nowhere and leaving you ill; and persisting in that situation does more harm than good. Change can be scary but sometimes it’s a lot scarier to imagine a situation in which nothing changes.
I am sure you half think – I wish he would just come out and say it so we could talk and formally separate so I could deal with my pain and think of my future. Or that he would just leave for the same reason. That’s normal in situations like this and that’s why people often go to counselling during or after a break up. Being able to talk about it is so important to being able to heal because it is very much like grief. Not just for the person but for the life you expected. Your security. The things you believed were real that weren’t.

That might be another way to prepare in fact. Ask your GP is you can be referred to a counsellor – begin talking about your situation in the real world.

The Banishing and Blessing Intensive Spells are detailed at www.mayamagickal.net/magickalintensives.htm 

Another option (which is a comprehensive reversal spell and can be worked to have healing effect) is the Killing Moon Karmic Reversal 30 Day Ritual Intensive which is currently available on the special offer page www.mayastar.net/special.htm 

I believe taking some kind of conscious of practical action to support the spells is important. Whether you start keeping a journal or learn an energy healing method to become active in rebalancing your own energy (like Reiki), that’s a very good idea in manifesting the most positive changes and moving forward from hindering factors of the past. 

I know it’s not easy and motivating yourself even to seek my help is probably hard…taking steps to help you personally may seem very hard. But it’s important that your conscious mind begins to remember that you are a person of value regardless of what others do or say or how they behave. Or your situation. These negative thoughts about yourself are part of the problem as it currently stands and reminding yourself you are not defined by other people and your course is not determined by them can mean you emerge from the situation a stronger person than before – with more confidence and higher self esteem.

Magick always works to restore harmony no matter how long its been missing. Harmony and wholeness are your natural state.

What is a Narcissist? The Spiritual Damage & Self Healing When they’re gone! (From a Psychic Perspective)

I have blogged before about Narcissistic Personality Disorder & the psychic effect it has on those around the Narcissist. 

One of the most common problems people face after being involved in any context, with someone who is narcissistic (self centred…remember not everyone with selfish tendencies is classified narcissist but they may share some of the issues and create similar problems…resulting in similar fall out for those around them).

A narcissist is unconscious of the value and autonomy of people around them. In many ways their situation is like that of a child trapped in the “terrible twos” – complete with tantrums, deception and a childish belief that the world revolves around them.

Most grow out of this stage. It is the emergence of the Ego and in many ways the beginning of psychological autonomy. So it’s considered and is a natural growth phase. And beyond it the higher faculties are developed – empathy in particular and the ability to identify with others and to know humility.

In the narcissist something internal or external stunts this growth. Narcissistic brains tend to be highly intelligent and the process of maturation takes longer. It may be that certain stages are bypassed and emotional maturity is never achieved…it may be that being treated as an over achiever during their extended formative years means that those with narcissistic tendencies experience a longer period in which things can go wrong; that nature and nurture combine to inhibit the realisation of objective consciousness.

That’s just a theory. But as an autistic I have always found narcissists a curiosity and a proof that the theory about autistic people lacking empathy is not the case. I can only speak for myself in that and with my family members but early on I seemed to overly empathise. I never had tantrums. I never rebelled. And I think autistics with high functioning either develop so quickly through the ego phase or it’s so insignificant to our sense of reality (which is very abstract generally), we are the psychological opposite of narcissists in many ways.

I certainly feel narcissistic people seem to have a problem with me because their usual manipulations or attention seeking/self validating behaviours don’t exert the desired response from me.

Narcissistic personalities can be covert or overt and the abuse they perpetuate depends much on their type. Coverts can be very controlling and manipulative – mind games, martyr complexes and hyperchondria that means they can assume a victim role throughout life. Overts may be more obvious. Talking over you or verbally abusing you. They may even become physically abusive.

But the real damage is caused by the controlling behaviours however they are expressed. The genuine victim of a narcissist often questions their own sanity and wonders if they are the narcissist. And narcissists encourage that kind of blurring of the edges…where they end and you begin.

This kind of manipulation of reality that leaves you wondering just what you’re seeing and doubting yourself is called “gas lighting” and is a deliberate tactic in control and manipulation. 

Of all abuses I think this gradual undermining of another’s sense of self and sense of reality has the most insidious side effects. It happens so gradually and is common to all narcissistic types and it casts the longest shadow in victims because of its very nature.

Addressing and removing yourself from s situation of physical or verbal abuse is easy to see. The damage done by the gas lighting really isn’t and it’s more prevalent because covert narcissists do the same thing.

Psychically this leaves the victim with the fear that they are the “bad one”; deficient in some way; unprofessional and to blame. A feeling that can take a very long time to move on from because of its nebulous nature.

Remember, the narcissist doesn’t ever stop to wonder if they are at fault. This is the chasm between the narcissist and others. Their sense of entitlement and lack of consciousness and self awareness. For them, it’s a given that the fault is someone else’s so if you are left doubting yourself, you are not the narcissist.

This kind of undermining of the victim creates problems though. Low self esteem. Anxiety. A tendency to over analyse or take on more responsibility in any given situation than is realistic. But worst I think is the sense of unreality. The  victim buys into the narcissist’s view and sacrifices their own and regaining that centering isn’t easy.

On a psychic level this is the real damage of the psychic attack. There are implications on all levels and spiritually it can cause all kinds of ambivalence as the mind swings from idea to idea seeking a truth.

Many clients and students come to me to begin healing this sense of ungroundedness. And energy healing, meditation and certain rituals can certainly help. But it is as if you leave the relationship or connection with an addiction. An addiction to a person or a habit of allowing them to think for you. And that can feel disorientating or terrifying by turns for a long time. It takes time to heal and the first step is acknowledging you are not imagining it.

The psychological damage caused is what we would call a psychic attack and because you’re juggling the other attacks you may not notice it happening.

But despite the nightmare of it, if you choose the right tools to help you through, you can gain great insight into yourself and a unique perspective of the world and of life.

It creates an opportunity where you have to start again because you can’t go back to a point before happened. Starting from scratch with experience and wisdom means you have access to a greater potential happiness than you had in the past. It won’t be easy! But I can personally vouch for the fact that energy work, meditation and magick can make it easier!

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I was raped. Courage & Self Realisation. Are life’s challenges our most powerful opportunities?

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOpWsw1Hvl8

22 Years ago, I was raped by my long term partner.

I was young and this had seemed to come out of the blue. He became physically, mentally and emotionally abusive after this…he also had 4 affairs that I know of during the 9 years total we were together.

Looking back, I regret not going to the police. And I regret not telling anyone or talking to anyone about it. If anyone finds themselves in a similar situation, please don’t deal with it by hiding it. They are the one at fault; and no matter how twisted they are and how manipulative they are (and they usually are)…managing to make sure you feel ashamed for something they should feel ashamed of…no matter how difficult it is, trust me when I say, spending your life covering for an abusive relationship or hiding an assault from people, means the attacker continues to do damage to you psychologically, long after the event is over.

Considering courage in the context of a magickal philosophy made me want to make a video about how courage isn’t about not being scared…it’s about how you handle being scared. It’s about learning to trust yourself to cope with fear and have faith in your own potential abilities to turn it around. Maybe even use it to your advantage in some way.

In that way, I can look back and say 22 years ago something really bad happened to me…but ultimately, it increased my potential to overcome fear, pain, suffering…and on some level, life’s challenges are those things that create the most powerful opportunities for us to prove ourselves. My self confidence and self esteem might not be what they are today had some of these things not happened in my past. They did force me to step up to mark in a way that may not have happened any other way. Perhaps ultimately, they made me a better person; a stronger person. And perhaps ultimately, making this video might help others too. I hope so.

They say that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I would encourage that. Don’t let what doesn’t kill you make you angry, vengeful, bitter or afraid. In the strangest way, we have no control over what happens to us, but we have control over how we deal with it. See yourself as an empowered person and challenges can turn to opportunities.

Of course it’s not a simple thing; it took a lot of hard work. But do you really want to let the abusers, bullies, rapists of the world win you over to their way of seeing yourself as a victim?

PLEASE DON’T!

In considering an example it was the only situation I could think of where I was actually scared for my life…and it took me a long time to find the courage to end the relationship. I’m not proud of that. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. But anyone who has been in an abusive relationship or subject to a sexual assault…remember one thing – they are actually BREAKING THE LAW – it’s not a moral issue, it’s nothing to do with what you were wearing either. And there is a legal system that sometimes fails…but sometimes works. That is the system that rapists should face so you don’t have to allow their actions define you later. Again, this isn’t an easy thing at all. But my experience is…don’t harbor criminals.

I feel very strongly about it. It is perhaps my biggest regret not calling the police when it happened…because living with the secret was like dealing with something that happened to me (not something I did), over and over again. And it took a lot to move forward. I think it always would have – but I think I would have felt better about myself, the situation, the world, if I hadn’t kept the secrets of someone like that.

So I really intensely want to tell other victims of assault within or outside of relationships…PLEASE don’t suffer alone.

If you don’t know where to begin and seeing the police seems too difficult, tell a friend and have them phone the police. See your GP as an emergency and have them phone the police. Do whatever you can do. But don’t keep it to yourself.

Do anything you can to avoid falling into despair. Study psychotherapy…see a therapist…a counsellor…whatever help you can find, find it.

I feel like, worse than the event itself for me, were the 4 years of not even thinking to myself in words what kind of relationship I was in. I didn’t even tell myself. Let alone anyone else. That was a lot to deal with. It had a lot of consequences that dealing with it a different way wouldn’t have had.

Also remember…22 years later, things will look very different. I hadn’t lived 22 years when it actually happened…but looking back, I am a very different person now. It’s impossible to say what might ever happen to you in life…but I know for absolute certain, I would have been waiting at the police station door when it opened the next morning if it happened now.

We’re not defined by what other people do to us. Sometimes it feels like we are. But we’re not. And I dedicate my life to teaching courses that empower people (in various ways)…something I feel extremely inspired to do but something I couldn’t have imagined doing 22 years ago.

Time doesn’t heal…it’s what you do with the time that decides whether it heals…so if you can learn anything from my mistakes and my situation, please, please do. If I can make a difference to one person…save them the 4 year limbo…I’d donate a kidney to do it. So making this video, not my favourite subject, but the least I can do ❤

ALM (Mayastar)
http://www.mayastar.net

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Protection Spells | Reversal Spells | Love Spells | Black Magick | Karma

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Today’s bathtime blog taken from a client question regarding the karmic implications of protection spells…which relates to exorcism or reversals too as they have a similar structure.

Brought to you from a Yoga Bomb BathBomb from Lush hot bath…with red moodlights. Today extra long bath because I woke up with my head tipped back in my sleep. It’s a weird problem. If I sleep on my back I am fine. If I roll on my side I seem to tip my head back and wake up with a stiff neck. When I do, I now boycott my workout because I don’t want to risk injury.

I have considered sleeping in a neck corset (aka posture collar) to prevent me doing it. It’s such an irritation when I do it that I don’t think a posture collar would be a major hassle. It seems like a great idea. I wear corsets in bed (for rib contouring…also they help me relax as the hug emulation increases my oxytocin level. V handy if you’re autistic! Physiological differences in brain wiring means we make much less than neurotypicals and oxytocin counters stress hormones so tight lacing is actually good for my health!). But if I get a posture collar I definitely want one that’s made to fit properly and is breathable.

Pleased with myself for this new idea…wondering why I never thought of trying it before.

Anyway, for now a looong soak followed by a massage will work the kinks out!

So…my customer raised an interesting question. If a spell returns negative intentions/actions (which create negative karmic bonds) back to their source, is that karmically sound? It does on the surface allow an interpretation of “an eye for an eye”. But there is no intention to retailiate. The spell works from the client out rather than focusing on the other person/people. It’s not akin to a hex or attack. But there is a very important reason why we don’t just cut the links. The main one being they tend to get reinstated by the other person. If someone considers you an enemy and projects negative intentions towards you, the situation may persist until they resolve the karmic link from their end.

An extreme example…if you had stalker and to avoid the stress, you moved house thinking “out of sight out of mind”, it wouldn’t necessarily change their intentions. Restraining orders would be applicable of course. But on a magickal level, you can remove the bond from your side…but over time they will reestablish the bond because it’s their issue. The only real way to stop it would be to resolve the karma and that’s why the spell works the way it does.

It doesn’t create negative karma. The key is the spell dissolves and resolves any negative karmic bond. The resolution of karma is in line with Universal Law – can allow the 3rd party to realign with Universal Law and actually solve the problem rather than fire fighting.

It may be the person at the source needs to resolve it to move on and develop and if you detroy the Karmic bond entirely, their option to evolve beyond it might be interrupted. Denying them their Karma would create negative karma!

The spell is bound to work only in alignment with Universal Law…so we have to trust to the Universe to resolve or dissolve as appropriate. We can’t decide what’s best for the other person. But the Universe can be trusted. We are all united by Universal Law (Dharma) which is the evolution spiritually of all things. All people. All creation.

Protection spells and reversals are not used to retaliate. I wrote them to ensure they couldn’t be compromised in any way by our emotions or intentions. Emotionally if someone hits you, you may want to hit them back rather than just protect yourself. So the spells are written to make sure we don’t inadvertantly cause harm in the heat of the moment. But instead work to establish harmony from the inside out.

It’s down to the Universe whether a bond can be dissolved or needs to be returned for resolution. If we think otherwise, it’s the ego talking. The Higher Self seeks harmony and balance; alignment with Universal Law.

All my workings follow this philosophy. I don’t use black magick. And I have studied and practiced magick for nearly 28 years…I don’t claim to be an authority but I definitely understand now principles I didn’t understand as a teenager!

I won’t do spells on 3rd parties or without the recipient’s consent. No spell should ever be done without the focus of that spell knowing about it. It’s very important – not only Karmically…but a spell done without someone’s knowledge or consent is far less likely to have any lasting result!

Even a spell for healing, if done without the subject’s consent would be black magick regardless of the caster’s intention; it would mean manipulation of their free will and that’s the kind of magick that always carries karmic debt. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions and magickally that’s something you need to know and understand.

Most black magick is carried out by amateurs in the “name of love” for what the mage/witch believes is a good intention. But the fact they consider they know best is testament to the fact it’s the ego calling the shots. Not the Higher Will.

A good test is, if you want to do a spell for a third party but you want to hide the fact from them, there can’t be a truly karmically sound intention.

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Update Mayastar & Maya Magickal | Spells | Reversals | Justice | Lunar Magick | Planetary Rulers | Rebalancing Energy | Eliminating Karmic Bonds | Morality | Manipulation & Abuse | Dance | Choreography | Full Moon

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Today’s face of thunder #nomakeupselfie…

When u find out you been played…and realise sometimes #magick is the only way to break a negative karmic bond with someone who doesn’t have #selfawareness or #principles.

“You can’t reason with the unreasonable.”

But you def don’t want them messing with your energy and skewing your balance.

So tonight, my #pms combined with the #fullmoon and influences of Jupiter, I think working #Nataraj Dance of Destruction Reversal Ritual (focused on invoking justice – it’s a good #spell for tweaking in that way), would be the best fit! Plus I have a new choreographed version for tweaking the Nataraj Working for Justice and not a simple reversal as the two are so often requested together. So, tonight will be the first casting of the new one…a bit exciting to see how it will work. If it doesn’t “flow” I think perhaps it would be a good choreographical addition to the #Valkyrie working.  But feel the reversal element is essential to a a Justice By Right spell. I may end up doing a new spell for this option ultimately so watch this space! Xx

Still spaces for any spells/rituals Friday, Saturday – http://www.mayamagickal.net

Sorry office admin side is a bit behind. All attunements etc up to date and certificates being processed  Today’s face of thunder #nomakeupselfie…

When u find out you been played…and realise sometimes #magick is the only way to break a negative karmic bond with someone who doesn’t have #selfawareness or #principles.

“You can’t reason with the unreasonable.”

But you def don’t want them messing with your energy and skewing your balance.

So tonight, my #pms combined with the #fullmoon and influences of Jupiter, I think working #Nataraj Dance of Destrover the next few days.

Xxx Be Whole!
Maya xx

www.mayamagickal.net
www.mayastar.net

Psychic Attack | Abuse | Bullying | Energy Healing | Karmic Reversal | Protection Spells | Black Magick

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Bathtime Blogging with a Yoga Bath Bomb from Lush & sunset moodlights. Today’s blog…magick, psychic attack and protection.

The most requested spells and rituals I do for people are Reversal spells. By a long way this type of working (either as a preliminary preparation for other work or as a solution specific working), is what people need help with when they know that spiritually or psychically something is off…even if they’re not sure what it is.

Psychic attacks using black magick are extremely rare. But you need to consider what magick really is before understanding how it can help. Magick is defined as the art of causing change to occur in accordance with the will. So every act of will (conscious or unconscious) is an act of magick. When we focus on an intention we begin to take actions and prepare ourselves for a desired situation or outcome to manifest and the Universe backs us up. When our higher will is engaged in seemingly mundane activities, we are reinforcing our intention with action and changes can occur more quickly because we are literally aligning ourselves with our goal. This isn’t to do with good or evil…it’s more to do with aligning our actions and emotions with our thoughts and intentions. Magick is the way I do it but it does take training and commitment to learn. So I provide magickal services for others as part of my work.

Explaining how the will is aligned on all levels in order to create “magickal” change is a bit complex. There are so many variables in any situation that magick is a process of “reweaving”. But a simplified example might be, someone who wants to make more money. It would be kind of silly if they thought the way to do this was by gambling and using magick to give them better luck. They would really be sending the message by their actions that they want something for nothing. And that they won’t take an active role in achieving their goals. Whereas someone who genuinely aspired to improve their financial situation would look for jobs, do their accounts, perhaps study with a view to increasing their status in their existing job with the intention of earning money through promotion. The gambler may have success…but magick works with the individual and the gambler’s actions would be putting out the opposite message to his words: that he didn’t want change. This would mean any change that did manifest would be undermined by his own actions. And he may not even realise how his mindset was restricting him and ensuring he didn’t ever manifest the money he “thinks” he wants.

That’s important to remember. Magick always works. But it’s more effective, the results longer lasting and faster to manifest if the subject is serious about their goal and is aligned with the goal of their intention. Combining magick with practical action is clearly the most sensible approach. The biggest hindrance to spells…what may even undermine them…is the mindset of the subject of the spell. People say they want one thing but their actions reinforce the fact they want something else.

So you can see, the idea that someone’s doing black magick and attacking you is nonsensical – if there is no enemy within, no enemy without can exist! Trying to use magick in this way would be against the natural current; it would be like making water flow up hill!

But psychic attack is a common problem. It doesn’t involve someone performing black magick rituals or sticking pins in a voodoo doll or anything so elaborate. It can deliberate but also sometimes unconscious.

In previous blogs I have talked about Narcissistic Personality Disorders, Sociopathy, Psychopathy and Anti-Social Personalities. In common these traits mean a very ego centred motivation and sometimes a lack of self awareness. In common, these personality types have in common a tendency to blame external sources for their negative experiences. Some may be verbally abusive or physically abusive. Some will be pathological liars. Some will be very negative and draining. Others will be very intelligent manipulators. But in common they have a tendency to blame external circumstances or people for their any perceived problem. 

They carry grudges. They may actively “hate” and project negative intentions onto others. Or they may seem not to but you get a “vibe” from them. Such as the pathological martyr or saviour. They somehow can make any situation all about them without people noticing.

This is abusive behaviour – even if it can be unconscious. Though the effect of it in practical terms is undeniable and can be catastrophic. On a psychic level, it would considered no differently to using magick to manipulate another person against their will.  By mundane methods or negative intentions, people can perpetuate a psychic attack. They can be causing harm on a spiritual level and the victim often “feels” something is wrong but feels unable to identify the source and unable to resolve it. Magick can help to bring a proper solution to this kind of situation. As long as the subject of the spell genuinely wants this!

If someone is manipulating or abusing you, it’s often harder to perceive or accept when it’s not in an intimate relationship. In work situations or where a family member is causing the bad energy, it’s very easy for the “victim” to think it must be their own problem. That maybe they’re too sensitive. Maybe they’re not professional enough etc.

A Karmic Reversal spell is a safe and effective way of preventing the hindering influence of another or others from causing you any harm or restriction on an energetic level. It works from the subject out and simply put it dissolves any negative karmic bonds – reverses negative intentions, speeding up the karma if necessary for resolution or simply dissolving negative connections if that’s more effective. It isn’t fighting fire with fire. It’s really a way to bring resolution to the situation instead of deflecting or ignoring it. In many senses you can consider this kind of magick a healing kind – it’s healing an energy connection and allowing you to move forward.

You can find more information on how magick works on my website www.mayamagickal.net

Xxx

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Can a Narcissistic Mind Evolve a Conscience through Intellectualised Re-Framing of Life Experiences? | Consciousness | Narcissism | Higher Faculties | Love | Forgiveness | Judgement | Autism

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Bathtime Blogging…I am pondering a number of things at the moment. It began after my dad died…having aspergers seemed to allow me subjective and objective experience of his illness, his death, my own grief and the various ways of expressing grief that came to people around me that set me pondering…

Can a Narcissistic Mind Evolve a Conscience through Intellectualised Re-Framing of Life Experiences?

I don’t think anybody is better at life than others. All people are individual. Their potential is variable. So I don’t make observations to judge in any way, but literally as an observation. My asper brain intellectualises things and looks at the logic as if it’s a puzzle with a solution and not just a puzzle. So in articulating my considerations, I hope that they may set you pondering too!

The beginning of this train of thought was really initiated as I contemplated the different way in which I experience empathy as an Aspergirl compared to the experience of those around me. In the back of my mind was a concern that maybe I wouldn’t experience things “properly”.

When someone dies of cancer you get a warning. You take a journey with them. My dad had a very fast growing brain tumour. He lived 5 months after diagnosis. And that was WITH chemo slowing the tumour. The tumour was inoperable. It was the type that would have spread even if it could be slowed with radiotherapy and chemo. But even a non malignant brain tumour is fatal if it’s inoperable. So there was a journey of weeks for the diagnosis and then months of treatment. I am sure dad would have made the same decision about the chemo etc even if they had known it would only give him months…months instead of weeks. But even with a warning,  these things feel like they happen too quickly.

My dad had home hospice care and I saw him every day throughout. That was a good thing. I didn’t realise my mind was learning to accept the inevitable…I even wondered if my mind, specifically because of my autism, was able to accept it more easily because I couldn’t take any of it personally. And that’s where my questions began…would I experience death with my form of atypical empathy or was I at risk of being TOO rational.

I also considered perhaps my spiritual beliefs and the fact I could give healing to someone who was dying (Reiki and Violet Flame – both of which I teach through Mayastar). Did that give me a sense of being able to help someone to die peacefully, rather than react as if situation was all wrong and death was unnatural?

I continued to mull these things over. Looking at different personality types and considering their limitations, experiences and unique qualities.

I came away from this with the understanding that we all have a level of higher function (the ability to be objective and self aware), and we all have an ego. And both of these are present at different levels in different people…and they change over time. But how much can they change?

The ego doesn’t have the capacity for objectivity or self awareness. The ego really is the inner narcissist. It doesn’t develop emotionally beyond childish fears and tantrums. It demands external validation. And I think in people where one or other (subjective or objective mind) is dominant, they are “atypical”. Most people experience both to a degree and most people consciously continue to strive for a more objective understanding of their experiences as life goes on.

I think this shows up increasingly as people age. If they don’t move past their ego, they tend towards bitter. Sometimes almost paranoid. But generally they become antisocial as time goes on. In people we consider well adjusted, they balance this tendency to selfishness with an increased capacity for objective understanding – whether they pursue this consciously or it happens naturally probably depends on how balanced they were to begin with. These people seem to “mellow with age” and they are less likely to take on other people’s issues as personal or to consider life events as being “bad” or “wrong”. The exact opposite of the ego which takes everything personally.

Now, my autism may mean if anything I have a tendency to over rationalise – to the extent that some people find me kind of weird. Sometimes presenting a kind of blank slate. Often asking questions that some find intrusive. People who lie or who have a tend towards a narcissistic personality often take a dislike to people like me because we don’t provide them with the external validation or feedback they need. And we very well may ask them outright why their behaviour is as it is and they very well may not have the answers!

I don’t think you have to be autistic to run into this. Those people who persist in ego consciousness seem to “clash” with people a lot! They seem to ostracise themselves. Although I find this observation interesting, I find it hard to imagine how hard getting by in life must be if you are dependent on others to reinforce your sense of self…all the while feeling that you are entitled to that kind of attention. It’s almost like an addiction and I think the capacity of people whose ego is dominant (not to the extent of being classifiable as a narcissist but just more ego centred than the average person) must live on their nerves. Their capacity for experience of higher emotions like love; their capacity to forgive; their capacity for altruism; their capacity for feeling ok with themselves in many ways, is compromised. Their fear of not being accepted or of being judged is heightened. They may seem selfish and rude and arrogant…but scratch the surface and you find it’s all surface! The ego’s reasoned response to a question like “why do you feel a need to be rude to other people” is either going to begin “because they….” or “because I do”.

It’s led me to consider…without any answer…is it possible for a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist (all ego based personalities), to evolve beyond that selfish view point? To overcome the illusion of their own importance the ego insists upon? To develop a level of emotional maturity even without the normal capacity for empathy? Is it possible for a serial killer (as an extreme example), to feel true remorse? Genuinely and not just theoretically? (And I mean remorse…not regret!) Is it possible for extreme narcissistic personalities to learn to feel genuine remorse by reframing life experiences as an entirely intellectual process?

I really don’t know. But if you observe the reaction of people to serious life events…you can see they tend to swing between ego and higher function and find some balance. It’s normal for people to go through phases as they balance out.

I know there are people close to me who want to avenge me for things that have happened to me in the recent and distant past. They don’t think I should forgive. And sometimes I find it hard to explain…I haven’t forgiven in any real sense. Meaning, I haven’t set out to. But naturally over time have ceased to consider some things less and less important, until I naturally have “evolved” to a state of forgiveness. I think most people probably do this.

I personally can’t see the point of holding grudges against people I think are unworthy of them because I outgrew my connection to that person. They stayed as they were and I moved on. For me to blame them or be annoyed would be like being angry with a puppy for peeing on the new rug. It’s a puppy. I can’t reason with it “on a level”. And no matter how annoyed I am, it won’t make the puppy become human, apologise, clean the carpet and be like me. We can’t carry grudges or hold onto anger just because other people aren’t the same as us. Well, most of us would agree on that. The more narcissistic types probably wouldn’t. It’s very immature but the ego does think other people should be like we are otherwise any problems are their fault and they cause our problems. It sounds o absurd written down that I think evwn a narcissist would deny that train of thought. But their behaviour betrays them!

People who have caused me harm deliberately…abusive people and violent people; and one I would classify as a narcissist but could equally have a serious and untreated mood disorder. In fact the person in question claimed to have an undiagnosed mood disorder. But I think that was to justify their erratic behaviour or maybe even just to make themselves seem important! In fact their anger, compulsive lying and paranoia was classic for a narcissistic personality type and not for someone with clinical depression or bipolar disorder! They also claimed to be seeing a psychotherapist about their rage…and that was a verifiable lie. You can tell if a narcissist is lying by whether they are speaking or not!

Anyway, that is only my observation. I can’t diagnose those things and whatever their problem was, there’s nothing I can do about it and I wouldn’t be involved with someone like them. But because of their extremely strange and malicious behaviour, I do have to conclude that there’s no way I can take their issues personally; they have a problem. I can see how some people would find it hard not to take another person’s issues personally. Especially given the personal nature of some of the behaviour. So I can see that from the outside it looks so bad to other people that some feel there should be some kind of justice meted out…

I believe it is though. I don’t believe I need to be judge, jury or executioner for someone whose own personality is the bane of their existence. Karma is a component…but suffering from their own personality is also a punishment to them. They are their own worst enemies in many ways. Their lives are significantly diminished because of the way they think.

It may help that I can use magick in such situations to prevent being held back from sorting myself out by negative thoughts, intentions or actions. It’s such a common situation for the more emotionally mature that reversal spells form a very large part my ritual work for others (www.mayamagickal.net). I do consider that on a spiritual level, the destructive tendencies and negative intentions are akin to a intentional psychic attack and magick is a way to prevent you being caught up and unable to move forward. The immaturity of the ego leaves some volatile personality types with a kind of “emotional incontinence” that, I believe, causes harm and hindrance to victims of abusive relationships on an energetic level.

But after weighing up my personal experience and observations, the question remains after all my pondering: Can a narcissist learn to feel through an intellectualised process?

Perhaps my autism gives me a simplistic view and I am really not “getting it” – but it does seem to me that technically it should be possible. We all have two sides…and most people change as they become older and more experienced. Perhaps a lot of choices have to be made and perhaps we need an ideal to grow towards. So perhaps the narcissist falls at the first hurdle by not having the capacity to entertain an ideal! But, I still think technically it’s possible because we all have narcissistic qualities…and usually we do outgrow them. I’ve yet to observe a narcissist develop a conscience…but I do think technically it’s possible. Just very unlikely!

So endeth my bathtime blog of the day! Xxx

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