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18th August 2015 – Happy days friends! Have had a lovely day to day. Dad’s recovering well after the chemo. It’s kind of odd because the chemo has knackered him but some of his brain tumour symptoms (numbness on his left hand especially), seemed worse. But the numbness in his face is reduced. When they did the radiotherapy and chemo intensive, they obviously did some tests on the tumour type to see if it will respond to the treatment and I’ve been giving him energy healing – part of my Soul Midwifery duty – which is an absolute honour…challenging for sure, but any way we get to express our love for those we love in this life is something to be treasured…for sure, I think my hippieness is rubbing off on everyone right now. Even Spider seems supremely snuggly and mellow…but that might just be because I’m so fluffy and cute! (No disputing that eh?!).
Anyway, they said the intensive therapy might make all the symptoms worse and knackered him out badly at first and we’d have to wait to see how it settled in the weeks after it. Some people in his position at his age and with his type of cancer and its location, wouldn’t be able to complete a course of chemo – they might not even be able to begin a course if they were not in good health in all other ways. At first, throughout the chemo and radiotherapy daily thing, he was fine – his symptoms reduced massively and his energy was fine. He’s been making stuff out of wood (he’s always making stuff!) – doing my garden and growing veggies and stuff. Towards the end he was getting tired but in that kind of achy way you have if you’ve got a bad cold, except without the cold! Now it’s over a week since the chemo/radiotherapy intensive finished and the numbness did start getting worse again so they increased his steroids to try to reduce swelling around the tumour (caused by the radiotherapy); unfortunately that messed with his sleep and he felt much worse for a few days. To the point he even wondered if he’d recover or whether he was on the home straight. We all discuss these things openly though and I think that really helps everyone – it’s where my autism comes in extremely handy because I can facilitate a practical discussion about things that other families might find more difficult.
I can be ‘involved’ but at the same time my brain can take a very objective view and that can be helpful for keeping perspective and making sure everyone’s on the same page.
I have to say, as my life goes on, I find my Aspergers to be more and more of an asset! I know there are people that think it’s just a ‘genius gene’ thing or that it’s a sign of an ‘old soul’ incarnated – or even a higher being incarnating for a purpose. I don’t know – I know it makes me different to other people in some ways. But the blessings that come with it far outweigh any challenges! So I’m thanking my lucky stars all the time for my uniqueness; and really appreciating the uniqueness of everyone else. It’s like – everyone’s one six billion, and it’s an amazing thing that we can all be so unique and yet, have so much in common and so much to share. It really is a beautiful thing. So…remember…
YOU ARE AN EXTRAORDINARY PERSON, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!
My personal spiritual view means I view each individual as an expression of a single Source that many would call ‘God’. And no matter how flawed or imperfect, there is a connection between us all because of our common Source; and that Source is perfect; on some level we all are already perfect – and we spend our lives kind of working out ways to ‘cut the crap’ so we can express that perfection within us a bit more and in all kinds of ways.
Anyway…back on topic – as I said in yesterday’s blog, it will be a while before we know how well the chemo and radiotherapy worked but because the steroids messed up his sleep dad’s felt worse for a few days. But he got a really good night’s sleep yesterday and today spent the day with my sister. Then I went round and we jammed for a while and had a laugh. Then my honey got back from work and joined us. I know it’s probably ‘eek’ to some, but I’m sooooo loved up I can’t help singing his praises every chance I get! He’s absolutely the kindest person I’ve ever met. He’s honest and straightforward…and as my
sister pointed out…the first long term relationship I’ve had where my partner was as independent, dependable, straight talking and hard working as I am. She’s right. He really is good for me! If I ever sat and wrote a list about my requirements for a man, Elvis/Spider wouldn’t have matched the list. But he makes me happy and he’s my equal in ways that my partners before never have been.
I will be writing a further blog about that actually – the blog earlier this month about Covert Narcissistic Personality Disorder – I read back over it and realised that I’d not explained very well the gist of it, the red flags, what you can do about it and what you can’t do about it. Also, I have to admit that when I posted it, my comments related solely to my recent ex – but he’s not the first ex I have had that would tick so many of the boxes and some of the similarities between past partners really show up. But mostly, I want to write an article about abuse and abusers. A Covert Narcissist can manipulate a person in ways they don’t identify as abuse at all – and only looking back do you see there was any kind of systematic attempt to control or manipulate. And there are many forms of abuse but the effects are devastating. Again, I can thank my autism for allowing me to experience the ‘recovery’ (for wont of a better word), subjectively but also to intellectualise it and to draw a line under it in a way that might be harder for others. But it’s something I have studied and something that interests me. I have first hand experience too. And I’m happy to share what I’ve learned through personal experience, study and professionally. Not just because I think the information can help others who may be experiencing problems or trying to process the fall out of problems in the past, but because of the nature of my work, I consider the energetic/karmic component to such situations.
In magick we consider any act of will, an act of magick. So if someone intentionally punches you in the face to hurt you, they have done the same thing as someone who plants a hex bag on your car and hopes you’ll run into trouble. The intention is what makes these things the same. And that’s why when it comes to resolving things, as a witch and holistic teacher, I would consider that someone suffering after the trauma of an abusive relationship (whatever kind of abuse it was), if possible should seek help with the symptoms of the anxiety or depression from a medical professional – even if it’s to find a good counsellor and you’re averse to trying any medications even for a limited time. But also, I’d recommend they learn and practice energy healing and meditation (Kundalini Reiki, Avalonian Alignment – particularly good for this); and if they felt it would help and would be appropriate for them, there are magickal options that I provide that can assist to resolve karmic imbalance, help you ground and protect yourself and reverse negative energies. And all of these things combine to work on your situation in different ways; you’re getting support and reassurance from different areas as well as empowering yourself with new skills and information. I think that’s important.
Anyway…I seem to be whittering on! I was just a bit disappointed when I re-read the earlier blog I wrote about CNPD because it didn’t really give the information I had intended it to. So I may give that an edit when I get down to writing an article.
In the meantime – there are some great vlogs on youtube explaining the different kinds of antisocial behavioural issues people have and how to deal with them – what to do in practical terms if you find yourself a victim of them. And for those interested in learning meditation and self healing techniques you can find information on http://www.mayastar.net/courses.htm – and for magickal options http://www.mayamagickal.net XX
Better get on. I’ve extended the 24 Gift Offer for the Magickal Shaman Lightworker course due to the popularity! It’s a wonderful system and I highly recommend it. If you’re interested you can find the Gift Offer information at http://www.mayastar.net/gift.htm
So…there’s my work finished for the night! A little temple work to complete in the morning but I’m going to chill out, have some lemonade (on the master cleanser!), and then wake up my honey as he’s got an early start this morning.
Happy days and love to all XXXX Kisses XXXX And thanks to those who have continued to follow my blog and social media through last year. It was kind of a ‘fallow period’ for me and I spent a lot more time meditating and in prayer than usual…in fact, I would say for about six months I was actually very introverted. I tend to be quite an introvert but not for extended periods…but I guess there was a lot going on in my personal life and it was a transitional period and I seemed to do an awful lot of reading too. I’m sure it will all be useful for my work over the coming years. There’s never been a time I haven’t loved the work I do through Mayastar and Maya Magickal – if anything, over time I’ve grown to understand it and love it in more ways. And of course, my students and clients are always the most fabulous people because they are people that are taking charge of their lives…making changes…empowering themselves energetically and through study. Really wonderful <3 Deep gratitude to everyone who has been a part of Mayastar…my friends, family, students and clients….it's always appreciated and I think everyone shares in 'good' in different ways XXXX Happy happy happy happy days! X
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